Juno (film) Quotes

My dad used to be in the Army, but now he’s just your average H-VAC specialist. He and my mom got divorced when I was five and now she lives on a Havasu reservation in Arizona with her new husband and three replacement kids. Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine’s Day. And I’m like, “Thanks a heap, Coyote Ugly, this cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.” - View Quote Details on My dad used to be in the Army, but now…
Next time I see that Bleeker kid I’m going to punch him in the wiener. - View Quote Details on Next time I see that Bleeker kid I’m going to…
Well, What have you done, Junebug? Did you hit someone with the Previa?? - View Quote Details on Well, What have you done, Junebug? Did you hit someone…
WOAH, dream big! - View Quote Details on WOAH, dream big!
I never realize how much I like being home unless I’ve been somewhere really different for a while. - View Quote Details on I never realize how much I like being home unless…
In my opinion, the best thing you can do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty… handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out your ass. That’s the kind of person that’s worth sticking with. - View Quote Details on In my opinion, the best thing you can do is…
Yeah, you just take Soupy Sales to prom. I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren’s dumb Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? ‘Cause all those things would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you! - View Quote Details on Yeah, you just take Soupy Sales to prom. I can…
My axe is named Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin was the cute one with the polio. - View Quote Details on My axe is named Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin…
I’m a kraken from the sea! - View Quote Details on I’m a kraken from the sea!
You should’ve gone to China, you know, ’cause I hear they give away babies like free iPods. You know, they pretty much just put them in those t-shirt guns and shoot them out at sporting events. - View Quote Details on You should’ve gone to China, you know, ’cause I hear…
Get a whiff of those sparkling topnotes! - View Quote Details on Get a whiff of those sparkling topnotes!
Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you’ve got in your stomach is Taco Bell. - View Quote Details on Excuse me? I am a sacred vessel, alright? All you’ve…
Because doctors are sadists who like to play God and watch lesser people scream. - View Quote Details on Because doctors are sadists who like to play God and…
Silencio, old man. Look, I drank my weight in Sunny D and I gotta go pronto. - View Quote Details on Silencio, old man. Look, I drank my weight in Sunny…
It started with a chair. - View Quote Details on It started with a chair.
I don’t know, I just wanted something a little more edgier. I was thinking more like graphic designer, mid-thirties, you know? With a cool Asian girlfriend, who, like dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar. But I don’t want to be too particular. - View Quote Details on I don’t know, I just wanted something a little more…
Vijay: I’m gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count. - View Quote Details on Vijay: I’m gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count.
Bleeker is actually great in…in chair. - View Quote Details on Bleeker is actually great in…in chair.
The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me. Jocks like him always want freaky girls. Girls with horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear and Goth makeup. Girls who play the cello and wear Converse All-Stars and want to be children’s librarians when they grow up. Oh yeah, jocks totally eat that shit up. They just won’t admit it because they’re supposed to be into perfect cheerleaders like Leah, who, incidentally, is into teachers. - View Quote Details on The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me…
Leah: So, you were bored? That’s how this blessed miracle came to be? - View Quote Details on Leah: So, you were bored? That’s how this blessed miracle…
Excuse me, can we get my kid the damn spinal tap already? - View Quote Details on Excuse me, can we get my kid the damn spinal…
Leah: [seeing Juno and Paulie kissing] You know, you can go into early labor sucking face like that! [Juno gives her the finger] - View Quote Details on Leah: [seeing Juno and Paulie kissing] You know, you can…
Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you’re done with it. Don’t think it’s yours just because you marked it with your urine! - View Quote Details on Rollo: You better pay for that pee-stick when you’re done…
Hey there, big puffy version of Junebug! - View Quote Details on Hey there, big puffy version of Junebug!
As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss. He is the cheese to my macaroni. - View Quote Details on As far as boyfriends go, Paulie Bleeker is totally boss…
That’s my stepmom, Bren. She’s completely obsessed with dogs, owns a nail salon, and always smells like methyl methacrylate. - View Quote Details on That’s my stepmom, Bren. She’s completely obsessed with dogs, owns…

About Juno (film)

Juno is a 2007 American comedy film about a sharp-tongued teen living in a Twin Cities, Minnesota suburb confronting an unplanned pregnancy. Directed by Jason Reitman. Written by Diablo Cody. A comedy about growing up..and the bumps along the way.