Steven Wright Quotes

I used to be a narrator for bad mimes. - View Quote Details on I used to be a narrator for bad mimes.
I bought some used paint. It was in the shape of a house. - View Quote Details on I bought some used paint. It was in the shape…
You can’t have everything. Where would you put it? - View Quote Details on You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?
I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included — so I had to buy them again. - View Quote Details on I bought some batteries, but they weren’t included — so…
I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree fell right in front of me, and I didn’t hear it. - View Quote Details on I was once walking through the forest alone. A tree…