James Thurber Quotes

It is better to have loafed and lost, than never to have loafed at all. - View Quote Details on It is better to have loafed and lost, than never…
There is no exception to the rule that every rule has an exception - View Quote Details on There is no exception to the rule that every rule…
Never allow a nervous female to have access to a pistol, no matter what you’re wearing. - View Quote Details on Never allow a nervous female to have access to a…
Somebody has said that woman’s place is in the wrong. That’s fine. What the wrong needs is a woman’s presence and a woman’s touch. She is far better equipped than men to set it right. - View Quote Details on Somebody has said that woman’s place is in the wrong…
Let the meek inherit the earth — they have it coming to them. - View Quote Details on Let the meek inherit the earth — they have it…
We all have faults, and mine is being wicked. - View Quote Details on We all have faults, and mine is being wicked.
One (martini) is all right, two is too many, three is not enough. - View Quote Details on One (martini) is all right, two is too many, three…
Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with Man is Man. - View Quote Details on Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without…
A pinch of probability is worth a pound of perhaps. - View Quote Details on A pinch of probability is worth a pound of perhaps.
Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only by the blind: Nobody knows the trouble I’ve not seen! - View Quote Details on Last night I dreamed of a small consolation enjoyed only…
My drawings have been described as pre-intentionalist, meaning that they were finished before the ideas for them had occurred to me. I shall not argue the point. - View Quote Details on My drawings have been described as pre-intentionalist, meaning that they…
I am not a dog lover. A dog lover to me means a dog that is in love with another dog. - View Quote Details on I am not a dog lover. A dog lover to…
The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste, and the only limitations those of libel. - View Quote Details on The only rules comedy can tolerate are those of taste,…
But those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the hearts of men, leave behind them something more real and warmly personal than bodily presence, an ineffable and eternal thing. It is everlasting life touching us as something more than a vague, recondite concept. The sound of a great name dies like an echo; the splendor of fame fades into nothing; but the grace of a fine spirit pervades the places through which it has passed, like the haunting loveliness of mignonette. - View Quote Details on But those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the…
So much has already been written about everything that you can’t find out anything about it. - View Quote Details on So much has already been written about everything that you…
He was always leaning forward, pushing something invisible ahead of him. - View Quote Details on He was always leaning forward, pushing something invisible ahead of…
I’m 65 and I guess that puts me in with the geriatrics. But if there were fifteen months in every year, I’d only be 48. That’s the trouble with us. We number everything. Take women, for example. I think they deserve to have more than twelve years between the ages of 28 and 40. - View Quote Details on I’m 65 and I guess that puts me in with…
Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of it as one of our greatest earliest natural resources, which must be preserved at all cost. - View Quote Details on Humor is a serious thing. I like to think of…
I loathe the expression “What makes him tick.” It is the American mind, looking for simple and singular solution, that uses the foolish expression. A person not only ticks, he also chimes and strikes the hour, falls and breaks and has to be put together again, and sometimes stops like an electric clock in a thunderstorm. - View Quote Details on I loathe the expression “What makes him tick.” It is…
Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? - View Quote Details on Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody…
You might as well fall flat on your face as lean over too far backward. - View Quote Details on You might as well fall flat on your face as…
The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his. - View Quote Details on The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up…
All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of course, it kills them first. - View Quote Details on All men kill the thing they hate, too, unless, of…
There is something about a poet which leads us to believe that he died, in many cases, as long as 20 years before his birth. - View Quote Details on There is something about a poet which leads us to…
With 60 staring me in the face, I have developed inflammation of the sentence structure and a definite hardening of the paragraphs. - View Quote Details on With 60 staring me in the face, I have developed…
Early to rise and early to bed makes a male healthy and wealthy and dead. - View Quote Details on Early to rise and early to bed makes a male…
Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility. - View Quote Details on Humor is emotional chaos remembered in tranquility.
Don’t get it right, just get it written. - View Quote Details on Don’t get it right, just get it written.
All right, have it your way - you heard a seal bark! - View Quote Details on All right, have it your way - you heard a…
The past is an old armchair in the attic, the present an ominous ticking sound, and the future is anybody’s guess. - View Quote Details on The past is an old armchair in the attic, the…
Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision. - View Quote Details on Man is flying too fast for a world that is…
In order to be eligible to play it was necessary for him to keep up in his studies, a very difficult matter, for while he was not dumber than an ox he was not any smarter. - View Quote Details on In order to be eligible to play it was necessary…
Ours is a precarious language, as every writer knows, in which the merest shadow line often separates affirmation from negation, sense from nonsense, and one sex from the other. - View Quote Details on Ours is a precarious language, as every writer knows, in…
The difference between our decadence and the Russians is that while theirs is brutal, ours is apathetic. - View Quote Details on The difference between our decadence and the Russians is that…
You can fool too many of the people too much of the time. - View Quote Details on You can fool too many of the people too much…
Now I am not a cat man, but a dog man, and all felines can tell this at a glance — a sharp, vindictive glance. - View Quote Details on Now I am not a cat man, but a dog…
Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything. - View Quote Details on Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it…
Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully with a situation involving the presence of a formidable menace to one’s poise and prestige (such as the butler, or the man under the bed — but never the husband). - View Quote Details on Sophistication might be described as the ability to cope gracefully…
Le coeur a ses raisons, Mrs. Bence, que la raison ne connait pas. - View Quote Details on Le coeur a ses raisons, Mrs. Bence, que la raison…
A drawing is always dragged down to the level of its caption. - View Quote Details on A drawing is always dragged down to the level of…
Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation. - View Quote Details on Nowadays most men lead lives of noisy desperation.
Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages from the beyond and take their glory to the bishop rather than the eye doctor. - View Quote Details on Hundreds of hysterical persons must confuse these phenomena with messages…
I hate women because they always know where things are. - View Quote Details on I hate women because they always know where things are.
Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on account of another person. - View Quote Details on Love is the strange bewilderment that overtakes one person on…
Her own mother lived the latter years of her life in the horrible suspicion that electricity was dripping invisibly all over the house. - View Quote Details on Her own mother lived the latter years of her life…
The dog has got more fun out of Man than Man has got out of the dog, for the clearly demonstrable reason that Man is the more laughable of the two animals. - View Quote Details on The dog has got more fun out of Man than…
Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. “There’s a unicorn in the garden,” he said. “Eating roses.” She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. “The unicorn is a mythical beast,” she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips. - View Quote Details on Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in…
A burden in the bush is worth two on your hands. - View Quote Details on A burden in the bush is worth two on your…