Maddox Quotes

(introduction) “this page is about my opinions. if you disagree, you have a right to your opinion and i can respect that.” - View Quote Details on (introduction) “this page is about my opinions. if you disagree,…
She started crying when she saw the busted colon I gave her pussy husband, so she took one of her shoes off and threw it at me. I caught the shoe between my pecs and I started to laugh like a pirate. Then she started walking towards me to take her shoe back, and there was no way I was going to let this bitch get near my chest so I body slammed her into a cactus that happened to be there. She got up and was uglier than before, so I did what I always do when women start to cry: I went back inside to play video games. - View Quote Details on She started crying when she saw the busted colon I…
That reminds me of how much I hate babies. Why does everyone want to save them? There are too many babies. I’m not saying we should kill them, but if you happen to be giving your baby a bath and the phone rings.. well, nobody will judge you. Besides, you might get free brownies out of it at the funeral, and brownies rule. - View Quote Details on That reminds me of how much I hate babies. Why…
For example, the cover on the right depicts Lobo (also known as “the main man”) kicking Santa’s ass. Santa did something to piss Lobo off (or nothing, it makes no difference), and Lobo RUINED HIS SHIT. - View Quote Details on For example, the cover on the right depicts Lobo (also…
“my friend and i were watching mtv the other day when nelly came on and my friend was like “omg nelly rules”. hes such an idiot, he only listens to trendy music. at least i like original stuff like beyonce. - View Quote Details on “my friend and i were watching mtv the other day…
Having spelling errors is one thing, but c’mon. I’ve typed out more coherent sentences with my penis. - View Quote Details on Having spelling errors is one thing, but c’mon. I’ve typed…
I subscribe to an email service from CNN called “CNN Breaking News.” Basically every time shit hits the fan, you’re supposed to receive an email. Most of the “breaking news” I’ve received has been as earth shattering as an actor arrested for drunk driving. Wow, now excuse me while I change my freshly soiled boxers. - View Quote Details on I subscribe to an email service from CNN called “CNN…
6. You realize that if 10 million people saw the movie once, each wasting 3 hours of their lives, that 30 million hours have been wasted, and that if each person lived an average of 70 years, 3,424 years, or 49 lives will have been wasted watching the Titanic. James Cameron has effectively murdered 49 people. (Not necessarily a reason to cry, but it is to a sap that saw Titanic in the first place). - View Quote Details on 6. You realize that if 10 million people saw the…
When I say this game is hard, I mean hard like nipples-on-a-blind-lesbian-in-a-fish-market hard. - View Quote Details on When I say this game is hard, I mean hard…
How can a movie be “one of the best”? There’s only one “best” movie, so saying something is “one of the best” is stupid and doesn’t make sense. Technically any movie that’s not the worst could be considered “one of the best.” Imagine that, another empty phrase used by marketing people. I want to punch someone in the throat. - View Quote Details on How can a movie be “one of the best”? There’s…
(introduction) “This page is about me and why everything I like is great. If you disagree with anything you find on this page, you are wrong.” - View Quote Details on (introduction) “This page is about me and why everything I…
Finally when the movie started, I thought the bullshit ads were over, but no. First thing they showed was a “coke break” sponsored and produced by coke. [...] I paid $7 for a movie, NOT FOR BULLSHIT ADVERTISEMENTS. - View Quote Details on Finally when the movie started, I thought the bullshit ads…
My Nuts are just under critical mass, a few inches away from collapsing into a super dense vortex of nutsaqutron (a type of radiation given off by enormous balls). - View Quote Details on My Nuts are just under critical mass, a few inches…
…’SummerGrl19?’ Very clever handle by the way, the only way you could make it any more unoriginal or cliche would be to add the words ‘happy, cute’ or ‘princess’ to the name. - View Quote Details on …’SummerGrl19?’ Very clever handle by the way, the only way…
Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid. - View Quote Details on Science can learn a lot from someone this stupid.
The next person’s phone I hear set to Vivaldi is going to need a hydraulic pump to pry their phone out of their ass. - View Quote Details on The next person’s phone I hear set to Vivaldi is…
Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be to tell them that they’re fat. They’ll laugh because anorexic people aren’t fat. HAHAH - View Quote Details on Is someone you know anorexic? A good joke would be…
Let’s face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples. - View Quote Details on Let’s face it: there are few things in this world…
Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid. - View Quote Details on Watching this video is like being bukkaked with stupid.
Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like failing at failing. - View Quote Details on Passing out while you try to kill yourself is like…
No, I’m not a democrat or a republican. I’m just a guy who’s tired of the bullshit. - View Quote Details on No, I’m not a democrat or a republican. I’m just…
It’s every man’s dream to have a penis so large that he must hire a small boy to carry it. - View Quote Details on It’s every man’s dream to have a penis so large…
Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors. - View Quote Details on Whales are drinking all our water and eating our sailors.
There’s no shame in masturbation, unless you get caught. - View Quote Details on There’s no shame in masturbation, unless you get caught.