Kevin Smith Quotes

Fuck Pillowpants! Honk if you love or like pussy! - View Quote Details on Fuck Pillowpants! Honk if you love or like pussy!
Shit! Now where am I gonna bring chicks to fuck when my mom’s home? - View Quote Details on Shit! Now where am I gonna bring chicks to fuck…
It’s important to have a meaningful job boys, thats why I manually masturbate caged animals for artificial insemination - View Quote Details on It’s important to have a meaningful job boys, thats why…
Mr. Smith Goes To Hollywood : Jay is a creature of the Id, who has no filter as to what to say; he just says what’s on his mind. So what’s funny about the character is his lack of moral boundary. He says what he says without thinking of the repercussions, and I’m there to just roll my eyes. - View Quote Details on Mr. Smith Goes To Hollywood : Jay is a creature of…
Action, excitement; Jedi crave not these things - View Quote Details on Action, excitement; Jedi crave not these things
What’s your name, new best friend? - View Quote Details on What’s your name, new best friend?
How lame do you have to be to spend your time like that on the Internet? Can’t you do something more constructive, like surf for porn? Or go into the real world and interact with people rather than cyber-sniping. - View Quote Details on How lame do you have to be to spend your…
What’s up, baby? What’s up, sluts? - View Quote Details on What’s up, baby? What’s up, sluts?
on what a chicken is likely to say to another chicken were you to successfully hide a microphone in a chicken coop - SModcast 10: Eating a Chicken’s Soul - View Quote Details on on what a chicken is likely to say to another…
Thanks - View Quote Details on Thanks
On seeing Sean Connery eating at a Catina in Universal Studios - SModcast 4: Can I get a (Masturbatory) Witness - View Quote Details on On seeing Sean Connery eating at a Catina in Universal…
On seeing Jason Bateman eating in public at Baja Fresh - SModcast 4: Can I get a (Masturbatory) Witness - View Quote Details on On seeing Jason Bateman eating in public at Baja Fresh…
If a fat kid from the Jersey ‘burbs could grow up to star opposite one of the biggest movie stars in the world in a summer blockbuster, then anything’s possible. - View Quote Details on If a fat kid from the Jersey ‘burbs could grow…
Silent Bob is an electrical genius. Back in the high school science fair, he turned his mom’s vibrator into a cd player useing some chicken wire and shit. Motherfuckers like McGyver, NO motherfucker is better than McGyver! - View Quote Details on Silent Bob is an electrical genius. Back in the high…
What do you ever add to the fucking preceedings? You’ve got one answer for everything, “Pussy, Man”. - View Quote Details on What do you ever add to the fucking preceedings? You’ve…
Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of your questions has improved. - View Quote Details on Long time no see. I only pray the caliber of…
I really wanted to make a movie where the worst thing that could happen at the end of the day, was somebody would write on a web site that ‘Kevin Smith sucks cock’ and spell ‘cock’ wrong. - View Quote Details on I really wanted to make a movie where the worst…
…That’s just how I see male relationships. Just one pleasantry shy of a cock in the mouth. - View Quote Details on …That’s just how I see male relationships. Just one pleasantry…
If I had any balls whatsoever, I’d make nothing but Jay and Silent Bob flicks for the rest of my life. However, being a critical whore, I’ve gotta move on and ‘grow’ beyond those characters. - View Quote Details on If I had any balls whatsoever, I’d make nothing but…
In this world gone mad, we will not spank the monkey, the monkey will spank US! - View Quote Details on In this world gone mad, we will not spank the…
[to Holden] What do you look so shocked for, man? Fat bastard does this all the time. He thinks just ’cause he doesn’t say anything, it’ll have this huge impact when he does open his fuckin’ mouth. - View Quote Details on [to Holden] What do you look so shocked for, man?…
The sign! On the back of the car! Said ‘Critters of Hollywood’! You dumb fuck! - View Quote Details on The sign! On the back of the car! Said ‘Critters…
Guy from audience: “Your wife is your beard!” - View Quote Details on Guy from audience: “Your wife is your beard!”
Jesus Christ, why don’t you shut up? You’re always yap-yap-yappin’ all the time. You’re giving me a fucking headache. - View Quote Details on Jesus Christ, why don’t you shut up? You’re always yap-yap-yappin’…
It’s not like a passionate hobby of mine… - View Quote Details on It’s not like a passionate hobby of mine…
Fly Fatass! Fly! - View Quote Details on Fly Fatass! Fly!
It’s incredibly flattering, and really ironic. I grew up quoting Fletch and Raising Arizona, and now people quote the flicks I’ve done back to me. Weird, but nice. - View Quote Details on It’s incredibly flattering, and really ironic. I grew up quoting…
That’s not cheating. People say crazy shit during sex. One time, I called this girl Mom. - View Quote Details on That’s not cheating. People say crazy shit during sex. One…