Garfield Quotes

Jon: Garfield, why aren’t women attracted to me? - View Quote Details on Jon: Garfield, why aren’t women attracted to me?
Jon and Garfield are racing for the last hot dog. Jon reaches it first. - View Quote Details on Jon and Garfield are racing for the last hot dog…
With Garfield, the goal of a diet isn’t losing weight. It’s slowing down the gain. (24 Jul 1992) - View Quote Details on With Garfield, the goal of a diet isn’t losing weight…
I may never reach my full potential. (8 Aug 2007) - View Quote Details on I may never reach my full potential. (8 Aug 2007)
The only thing active about me is my imagination. (29 Jan 1986) - View Quote Details on The only thing active about me is my imagination. (29…
The things I do for this strip. (27 Dec 1979) - View Quote Details on The things I do for this strip. (27 Dec 1979)
Jon: (Watching Garfield eat) You know, Garfield… I wouldn’t say you’re fat, but… - View Quote Details on Jon: (Watching Garfield eat) You know, Garfield… I wouldn’t say…
I love getting mail. It’s just another reminder you’re alive. (16 Apr 1979) - View Quote Details on I love getting mail. It’s just another reminder you’re alive…
Garfield: If you can guess how many cookies are in this jar, you win the entire contents! - View Quote Details on Garfield: If you can guess how many cookies are in…
As long as there is one rocking chair left in this world, no cat’s tail is safe. (16 Nov 1978) - View Quote Details on As long as there is one rocking chair left in…
Jon: Do you think glasses would make me look smarter? - View Quote Details on Jon: Do you think glasses would make me look smarter?
Jon says I have a bad attitude in the morning. Some people have to ease into the day. I feel better after I’ve killed something. (15 Feb 1993) - View Quote Details on Jon says I have a bad attitude in the morning…
I’ll get checked-up while the lady vet gets checked-out. (04 Mar 1985) - View Quote Details on I’ll get checked-up while the lady vet gets checked-out. (04…
Home is where they understand you. (7 Feb 1981) - View Quote Details on Home is where they understand you. (7 Feb 1981)
Standing is overrated. (29 Sep 2005) - View Quote Details on Standing is overrated. (29 Sep 2005)
Jogging’s the disease. I’m the cure. (07 April 1987) - View Quote Details on Jogging’s the disease. I’m the cure. (07 April 1987)
Jon is whistling offscreen, there is a plate of 4 cookies on the table and Garfield walks in with a cup of coffee - View Quote Details on Jon is whistling offscreen, there is a plate of 4…
It must be Monday. It’s cold… it’s dreary… it’s raining… even inside the house. (4 Mar 1991) - View Quote Details on It must be Monday. It’s cold… it’s dreary… it’s raining…
I hate Mondays! - View Quote Details on I hate Mondays!
(Jon is talking to Garfield.) - View Quote Details on (Jon is talking to Garfield.)
Freedom is overrated. (1 Sep 2006) - View Quote Details on Freedom is overrated. (1 Sep 2006)
Cats are nice to have when you’re lonely. (14 Oct 1978) - View Quote Details on Cats are nice to have when you’re lonely. (14 Oct…
Phone (Garfield picks up) May I speak to the moron of the house? - View Quote Details on Phone (Garfield picks up) May I speak to the moron…
Garfield: (bragging to Jon) I came within an eyelash of catching that pesky mouse today. - View Quote Details on Garfield: (bragging to Jon) I came within an eyelash of…
Garfield: (Standing atop Jon’s easy chair) From this vantage point, I can survey all that I rule! - View Quote Details on Garfield: (Standing atop Jon’s easy chair) From this vantage point,…
Jon: (brandishing a letter) This came in the mail for you. - View Quote Details on Jon: (brandishing a letter) This came in the mail for…
All the world’s a cookie jar, and all the men and women merely crumbs…. I happen to be one of the chocolate chips. (09 Dec 1981) - View Quote Details on All the world’s a cookie jar, and all the men…
Jon: I’m going to start you on your diet slowly, Garfield. For the rest of the week you may have no desserts. - View Quote Details on Jon: I’m going to start you on your diet slowly,…
Jon: (To Garfield, suspiciously) Where’s the filling to my sandwich? - View Quote Details on Jon: (To Garfield, suspiciously) Where’s the filling to my sandwich?
Jon and Garfield are just about to leave the farm. - View Quote Details on Jon and Garfield are just about to leave the farm.
Garfield: (Lying down on the table) No animal is more graceful than a cat. - View Quote Details on Garfield: (Lying down on the table) No animal is more…
Jon: It isn’t healthy for a cat to be as big as you are, Garfield. Why, you could get heart disease, get fallen arches… get harpooned. - View Quote Details on Jon: It isn’t healthy for a cat to be as…
You know it’s Monday when you find sharks circling in your water bowl. (03 Aug 1981) - View Quote Details on You know it’s Monday when you find sharks circling in…
Garfield is building a snowman - View Quote Details on Garfield is building a snowman
If God had intended for dogs to bark, he would’ve given them roots and leaves. (29 Sept 1978) - View Quote Details on If God had intended for dogs to bark, he would’ve…
Jon (to the phone): I may not be rich, but remember this: money can’t buy happiness. - View Quote Details on Jon (to the phone): I may not be rich, but…
Jon: Having a girlfriend changes everything, Garfield. The ways things taste, the way things smell. I’m gonna have to change my socks more often. - View Quote Details on Jon: Having a girlfriend changes everything, Garfield. The ways things…
I may be just a cat, but it doesn’t seem to me that life is quite as simple as jon makes it. (1 Mar 2004) - View Quote Details on I may be just a cat, but it doesn’t seem…
Jon: I’m in the mood to party!… Or fold laundry. - View Quote Details on Jon: I’m in the mood to party!… Or fold laundry.
(Garfield brings Jon a snack.) - View Quote Details on (Garfield brings Jon a snack.)
Jon: Doc, how are you? - View Quote Details on Jon: Doc, how are you?
Garfield: What a dismal day. I think I’ll stay in bed all day. - View Quote Details on Garfield: What a dismal day. I think I’ll stay in…
Jon: Cats are mysterious creatures. - View Quote Details on Jon: Cats are mysterious creatures.
Jon: Somewhere out there is the woman for me!… hiding no doubt. - View Quote Details on Jon: Somewhere out there is the woman for me!… hiding…
Show me a jogger and I’ll show you a strange person with a thing for pain. (23 Aug 1979) - View Quote Details on Show me a jogger and I’ll show you a strange…
Jon: Hey Garfield, I’ve decided to throw a party. I’ll invite all of my friends. I’d better start making plans. - View Quote Details on Jon: Hey Garfield, I’ve decided to throw a party. I’ll…
Well, another year is almost under the belt. And I’ve had 313 pretty good days. The Mondays sucked. (31 Dec 1990) - View Quote Details on Well, another year is almost under the belt. And I’ve…
Jon: (Showing a plate of food to Garfield) Garfield, see what this tastes like. - View Quote Details on Jon: (Showing a plate of food to Garfield) Garfield, see…
If a dog were a faucet, it would leak. (14 May 1982) - View Quote Details on If a dog were a faucet, it would leak. (14…
Jon: It’s a beautiful morning! - View Quote Details on Jon: It’s a beautiful morning!
Jon: Two steak dinners, and make mine medium. - View Quote Details on Jon: Two steak dinners, and make mine medium.
A true gourmet never shies away from a new taste treat. (8 July 1979) - View Quote Details on A true gourmet never shies away from a new taste…
It is said we were given two ears and only one mouth so that we can tell only half of what we hear. (13 Jun 1985) - View Quote Details on It is said we were given two ears and only…