Peanuts Quotes
- after admiring Charlie Brown at his events: I admire your élan, Charles. - View Quote Details on after admiring Charlie Brown at his events: I admire your…
- to Lucy: You’ll always be a crabby little girl! You were born crabby and you’re going to stay crabby! Don’t think you’re going to change because you’re not! (16 May 64) - View Quote Details on to Lucy: You’ll always be a crabby little girl! You…
- on why she gets bad grades: Teachers don’t like kids with big noses! - View Quote Details on on why she gets bad grades: Teachers don’t like kids…
- Did you see that fly ball? I don’t want to be out there alone when it comes down. - View Quote Details on Did you see that fly ball? I don’t want to…
- The joy is in the playing. - View Quote Details on The joy is in the playing.
- They can’t do something to you if you don’t know what it means. (when Marcie tells her that teacher might have to resort to “castigation” because Patty has not done her homework) - View Quote Details on They can’t do something to you if you don’t know…
- reporting on a classical concert she attended: We went to the concert, and heard “Adagio for Strings ” by Samuel The Barber. - View Quote Details on reporting on a classical concert she attended: We went to…
- Lucy suggests that Schroeder buy her perfume for Beethoven’s birthday: That’s a good idea. I’ll get you a bottle of “Eau de Jumprope”! - View Quote Details on Lucy suggests that Schroeder buy her perfume for Beethoven’s birthday:…
- Rerun at bat for Charlie Brown’s baseball team: Everyone’s yelling and screaming. We must be winning the Stanley Cup. - View Quote Details on Rerun at bat for Charlie Brown’s baseball team: Everyone’s yelling…
- The moons of Saturn got in my eyes. - View Quote Details on The moons of Saturn got in my eyes.
- on Snoopy: That stupid beagle couldn’t find his way across the kitchen floor! - View Quote Details on on Snoopy: That stupid beagle couldn’t find his way across…
- after Violet chides him for being dirty and calls him a “germ carrier”: Even germs get tired of walking every now and then! - View Quote Details on after Violet chides him for being dirty and calls him…
- By the time I’ve grown up, we’ll probably have a woman president. You know what that means, don’t you? It means I won’t get to be the first one. BOY, THAT MAKES ME MAD!! (29 March 84) - View Quote Details on By the time I’ve grown up, we’ll probably have a…
- Marcie, has anyone ever told you that when you’re mad, you look just like Billie Jean King? - View Quote Details on Marcie, has anyone ever told you that when you’re mad,…
- after a fly ball hits Lucy, Snoopy, Linus, Violet, 5 and Pigpen in the head: I think you’re right; six bonks is a new record. (22 May 83) - View Quote Details on after a fly ball hits Lucy, Snoopy, Linus, Violet, 5…
- Yes, ma’am, a report on the French Revolution. Two thousand words? Yes, ma’am. Please allow four to six weeks for delivery. (24 Sept 86) - View Quote Details on Yes, ma’am, a report on the French Revolution. Two thousand…
- being chased by the other kids after purposely spoiling their games: I’m frustrated and inhibited, and no one understands me. - View Quote Details on being chased by the other kids after purposely spoiling their…
- on Charlie Brown: I could strike him out on three straight pitches! - View Quote Details on on Charlie Brown: I could strike him out on three…
- No matter how hard you try, you can’t build a rainman. - View Quote Details on No matter how hard you try, you can’t build a…
- I’m in business…these are ready-mix mud pies! (22 May 53) - View Quote Details on I’m in business…these are ready-mix mud pies! (22 May 53)
- It’s a lot more fun not inviting people than it is inviting them! (14 Oct 52) - View Quote Details on It’s a lot more fun not inviting people than it…
- on selling ‘oceanview property’ in Needles: I figured coyotes can see a long way. - View Quote Details on on selling ‘oceanview property’ in Needles: I figured coyotes can…
- Who was the first Tudor king? Well, let me think… Is this for real, Ma’am? Or are we playing Trivia? (25 May 84) - View Quote Details on Who was the first Tudor king? Well, let me think…
- Every day this big stupid German Shepherd comes running out and chases our bicycle! He doesn’t quit until I throw my shoe at him. I’m running out of shoes! - View Quote Details on Every day this big stupid German Shepherd comes running out…
- This is my report on Washington, D.C. “D.C.” stands for Doctor. Dr. Washington was an opthalmologist. His best friend was named Bunker Hill. One day on the battlefield, Dr. Washington looked at Bunker Hill and said, “There’s something wrong with the whites of your eyes!” As a reward for saving his friend’s vision, the people voted to make Dr. Washington their coach. - View Quote Details on This is my report on Washington, D.C. “D.C.” stands for…
- It’s hard for a critical person to go to sleep if she isn’t allowed a brief word of criticism! - View Quote Details on It’s hard for a critical person to go to sleep…
- After everyone in the neighborhood turns their back on her for reporting Snoopy to the Head Beagle: Everyone’s mad at me! No one will speak to me. (After Linus replies, “Of course they won’t! Anyone who would turn someone in to the Head Beagle doesn’t deserve to be spoken to!”) I didn’t know what I was doing! I was upset! (To which Linus answers, “Don’t talk to me, it’s too late now!”) - View Quote Details on After everyone in the neighborhood turns their back on her…
- to teacher: Our family just moved here from out of state. (…) No, ma’am…I don’t know which state. I don’t even know where I am now! - View Quote Details on to teacher: Our family just moved here from out of…
- Lucy: (to Linus, about Janice) You touched her, and now you’re giving me a glass of milk? You could catch leukemia from her and give it to me! - View Quote Details on Lucy: (to Linus, about Janice) You touched her, and now…
- taking a test: True!… False!… And one good old-fashioned MAYBE!!! - View Quote Details on taking a test: True!… False!… And one good old-fashioned MAYBE!!!
- Lucy suggests that they both go out for an ice cream sundae: That’s a good idea. You go now, and have yours. After you get back, I’ll go and have mine! - View Quote Details on Lucy suggests that they both go out for an ice…
- Snoopy: (howling at Charlie Brown’s entrance, stopping when Charlie Brown sees him) - View Quote Details on Snoopy: (howling at Charlie Brown’s entrance, stopping when Charlie Brown…
- on Snoopy: He’s a good skater, but he’s the funniest-looking kid I’ve ever seen! (10 Jan 69) - View Quote Details on on Snoopy: He’s a good skater, but he’s the funniest-looking…
- on the Super Bowl: We’ll never make it to the Splendid Bowl, sir. - View Quote Details on on the Super Bowl: We’ll never make it to the…
- Every Christmas it’s the same - I always end up playing a shepherd. (A Charlie Brown Christmas) - View Quote Details on Every Christmas it’s the same - I always end up…
- on Orientation at camp: If they try to ship us to the Orient, forget it! - View Quote Details on on Orientation at camp: If they try to ship us…
- she waited for a grounder to stop rolling before she picked it up: It was having a good time, and I didn’t want to disturb it. - View Quote Details on she waited for a grounder to stop rolling before she…
- Lucy: Do you think you have pantophobia ? - View Quote Details on Lucy: Do you think you have pantophobia ?
- Lucy asks if musicians make a lot of money: Who cares about money?! This is ART, you blockhead! This is great music I’m playing, and playing great music is an art! Do you hear me? An art! (pounding on piano) Art! Art! Art! Art! Art!” - View Quote Details on Lucy asks if musicians make a lot of money: Who…
- after the hockey game: I got to meet the guy who drives the Zucchini. (27 Sept 93) - View Quote Details on after the hockey game: I got to meet the guy…
- her father is taking her to a Mighty Ducks hockey game: I think we’re going to see the Mighty Flamingos. (17 Nov 93) - View Quote Details on her father is taking her to a Mighty Ducks hockey…
- Snoopy dresses up in a Sherlock Holmes outfit when she forces him to go rabbit-hunting: Sometimes I think he’s laughing at me. - View Quote Details on Snoopy dresses up in a Sherlock Holmes outfit when she…
- bowling a boy down the aisle after he insults her: Watch for you and me on TV, kid…the program is called “bowl a pupil”! (06 Sept 84) - View Quote Details on bowling a boy down the aisle after he insults her:…
- to Marcie: Stop calling me sir! - View Quote Details on to Marcie: Stop calling me sir!
- to Linus: You like mint chocolate chip? I’m surprised…most older people like vanilla! Linus fumes. (13 Jun 86) - View Quote Details on to Linus: You like mint chocolate chip? I’m surprised…most older…
- screaming at Snoopy for insinuating that her goop wasn’t good: YOU WOULDN’T KNOW GOOD GOOP IF YOU TASTED IT!!! - View Quote Details on screaming at Snoopy for insinuating that her goop wasn’t good:…
- (his mother’s lost three pounds by bicycling) And through sheer terror I’ve lost five! (21 Jan 74) - View Quote Details on (his mother’s lost three pounds by bicycling) And through sheer…
- Do footballs mind being kicked, sir? Do you think it causes them to be traumatized? (12 Sept 82) - View Quote Details on Do footballs mind being kicked, sir? Do you think it…
- Snoopy licked her face: AAUGH! I’VE BEEN KISSED BY A DOG! I’VE BEEN POISONED! GET SOME IODINE! GET SOME HOT WATER! GERMS! GERMS! GERMS! - View Quote Details on Snoopy licked her face: AAUGH! I’VE BEEN KISSED BY A…
- to Patty: You an’ I have a lot in common…we both dislike the same things about Charlie Brown! (31 Aug 53) - View Quote Details on to Patty: You an’ I have a lot in common…we…
- It’s a scientific fact that girls are smarter than boys! And do you know who discovered it? WOMEN SCIENTISTS! - View Quote Details on It’s a scientific fact that girls are smarter than boys!…
- after falling asleep in class: I’m awake! The answer is twelve! - View Quote Details on after falling asleep in class: I’m awake! The answer is…
- You know what I am? I’m a dust magnet! (25 Nov 59) - View Quote Details on You know what I am? I’m a dust magnet! (25…
- at the end of every session at her psychiatric booth: Five cents, please. - View Quote Details on at the end of every session at her psychiatric booth:…
- I have affixed to me the dust and dirt of countless ages…who am I to disturb history? (18 Sep 55) - View Quote Details on I have affixed to me the dust and dirt of…
- After learning she was going to be the inn-keeper’s wife in the Christmas play: Do inn-keeper’s wives have naturally curly hair? - View Quote Details on After learning she was going to be the inn-keeper’s wife…
- I could run the whole world right here from under my bed! (27 Jan 98) - View Quote Details on I could run the whole world right here from under…
- usually said after she tries to confide in Charlie Brown and he doesn’t tell her what she wants to hear: I hate talking to you, Chuck! - View Quote Details on usually said after she tries to confide in Charlie Brown…
- when Charlie Brown asks her how she can be so consistently crabby: Never change a winning game! - View Quote Details on when Charlie Brown asks her how she can be so…
- when Lucy was crying over Charlie Brown in the hospital: It’s interesting that you should cry over him when you’re the one who always treated him so mean! And stop wiping your tears with my piano! - View Quote Details on when Lucy was crying over Charlie Brown in the hospital:…
- I keep wondering if Mom’s planning to have more children. Lately she’s been referring to me as “Volume One.” (17 Feb 96) - View Quote Details on I keep wondering if Mom’s planning to have more children…
- Do me a favor, will you, ma’am? Call the roll again, and see if I’m here! - View Quote Details on Do me a favor, will you, ma’am? Call the roll…
- Once more antagonizing Snoopy about being the only animal in the neighborhood: You’re so smug! You think you’ve got it made, don’t you? You think you’re king because you’re the only animal around here! Well, do you know what I’m gonna do? I’m gonna get a cat! - View Quote Details on Once more antagonizing Snoopy about being the only animal in…
- You’re not pitching right, Charlie Brown. Whenever the other team hits the ball to us, and we try to catch it, the ball stings our hands! Try to pitch so that the ball won’t sting our hands. - View Quote Details on You’re not pitching right, Charlie Brown. Whenever the other team…
- to Schroeder: If you really loved me you’d stop playing that piano and listen to me. (Schroeder plays louder.) I guess that’s called answering without answering… - View Quote Details on to Schroeder: If you really loved me you’d stop playing…
- Each generation must be able to blame the previous generation for all its problems. It doesn’t solve anything, but it makes us all feel better. - View Quote Details on Each generation must be able to blame the previous generation…
- The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old women of tomorrow! - View Quote Details on The crabby little girls of today are the crabby old…
- The annual meeting of the Cactus Club will now come to order… - View Quote Details on The annual meeting of the Cactus Club will now come…
- Charlie Brown: There’s no time for foolishness. We’ve got to get on with our play! - View Quote Details on Charlie Brown: There’s no time for foolishness. We’ve got to…
- in right field: This guy can’t hit it! He swings like my grandmother! (a handbag is thrown at Lucy from behind and hits her in the head) Sorry, Gramma… it was just an expression… (17 July 82) - View Quote Details on in right field: This guy can’t hit it! He swings…
- Lucy (with Snoopy behind her, mimicking her): No, no, no! Listen, all of you! You’ve got to take direction, you’ve got to have discipline, you’ve got to have respect for your director! (sees Snoopy and turns around) I oughta slug you! (swings at him and gets slurped) Ugh! I’ve been kissed by a dog! I have dog germs ! Get hot water ! Get some disinfectant ! Get some iodine ! - View Quote Details on Lucy (with Snoopy behind her, mimicking her): No, no, no!…
- Lucy (to Linus, after he asks for one good reason to memorize his part fast): I’ll give you five good reasons! (individually clenches her fingers and thumb into a fist) One, two, three, four, FIVE! (shows him her fist) - View Quote Details on Lucy (to Linus, after he asks for one good reason…
About Peanuts
Peanuts was a comic strip drawn by Charles M. Schulz from 1950 until 2000, and was also developed into several TV animated specials and four animated theatrical features. The strip’s most recognizable icons are born-loser Charlie Brown and his lazy dog Snoopy, who will always sleep on his dog house instead of inside it. See also: Charles M. Schulz .
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