A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks…

A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman “Can I park here?” “No” says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask!

Unsourced, Religion

If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why don’t you break the monotony? - View Quote Details on If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why…
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up—they have no holidays. - View Quote Details on I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave…
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - View Quote Details on The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness whenever you go. - View Quote Details on Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness…
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts eating. - View Quote Details on My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s…
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - View Quote Details on When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave…
Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of wits with you. I never attack anyone who is unarmed. - View Quote Details on Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of…
If there’s ever a price on your head, take it. - View Quote Details on If there’s ever a price on your head, take it.
I like you—I have no taste—but I like you. - View Quote Details on I like you—I have no taste—but I like you.
I asked a Jewish man “Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?” He said “Yes”, and walked away. - View Quote Details on I asked a Jewish man “Do you know where Michigan…