A rabbi’s dog could score pork chops in the streets…

A rabbi’s dog could score pork chops in the streets of Tel Aviv easier than Bernard could acquire tequila in King County Jail.

Sourced, Still Life with Woodpecker
(1980)

Other Tom Robbins Quotes

If you fail to pilot your own ship, don’t be surprised at what inappropiate port you find yourself docked. - View Quote Details on If you fail to pilot your own ship, don’t be…
Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether to kill yourself or not. Tom Robbins wrote that the only serious question is whether time has a beginning or an end. Camus clearly got up on the wrong side of the bed, and Robbins must have forgotten to set the alarm. There is only one serious question. And that question is: ‘Who knows how to make love stay?’ - View Quote Details on Albert Camus wrote that the only serious question is whether…
This stuff’s so fine Julius Caesar called for it with his dying breath. ‘A toot, Brutus,’ is what he said. - View Quote Details on This stuff’s so fine Julius Caesar called for it with…
On the poor use of grammar It’s a matter of usage. If a house is off-plumb and rickety and lets in the wind, you blame the mason, not the bricks. Our words are up to the job. It’s our syntax that’s limiting. - View Quote Details on On the poor use of grammar It’s a matter of…
Modern Romans insisted that there was only one god, a notion that struck Alobar as comically simplistic. - View Quote Details on Modern Romans insisted that there was only one god, a…
There are two kinds of people in this world : those who believe there are two kinds of people in this world and those who are smart enough to know better. - View Quote Details on There are two kinds of people in this world : those…
“I’ll follow him to the ends of the earth,” she sobbed. Yes, darling. But the earth doesn’t have any ends. Columbus fixed that. - View Quote Details on “I’ll follow him to the ends of the earth,” she…
Suppose the neutral angels were able to talk to Yahweh and Lucifer- God and Satan, to use their popular titles- into settling out of court. What would be the terms of the compromise? Specifically, how would they divide the assets of their earthly kingdom? Would God be satisfied to take loaves and fishes and itty-bitty thimbles of Communion wine, while allowing Satan to have the redeye Gravy, eighteen ounce New York steak, and buckets of chilled champagne? Would God really accept twice-a-month lovemaking for procreative purposes and give Satan the all-night, no-holds-barred, nasty “can’t-get-enough-of-you” hot-as-hell fucks? - View Quote Details on Suppose the neutral angels were able to talk to Yahweh…
They were old enough to know better. Some of them were old enough to remember when old Macdonald had a farm. - View Quote Details on They were old enough to know better. Some of them…
If you didn’t serve the nasty fellow (God), the Romans would burn your house down. If you did serve him, you were called a Christian and got to burn other people’s houses down. - View Quote Details on If you didn’t serve the nasty fellow (God), the Romans…