Africa was very interesting,” said Ford, “I behaved very oddly…

Africa was very interesting,” said Ford, “I behaved very oddly there.” [...] “I took up being cruel to animals,” he said airily. “But only,” he added, “as a hobby.”
“Oh yes,” said Arthur, warily.
“Yes,” Ford assured him. “I won’t disturb you with the details because they would—”
“What?”
“Disturb you. But you may be interested to know that I am singlehandedly responsible for the evolved shape of the animal you came to know in later centuries as a giraffe.

Life, the Universe and Everything, Chapter 2

Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

“You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”
“Er, five,” said the mattress.
“Wrong,” said Marvin. “You see?”
The mattress was much impressed by this and realized that it was in the presence of a not unremarkable mind. - View Quote Details on “You may not instantly see why I bring the subject…
The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy [...] says of the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation products that ‘it is very easy to be blinded to the essential uselessness of them by the sense of achievement you get from getting them to work at all.’
‘In other words - and this is the rock solid principle on which the whole of the Corporation’s Galaxy-wide success is founded - their fundamental design flaws are completely hidden by their superficial design flaws.’ - c. 35 - View Quote Details on The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy [...] says of the…
Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity - distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. - View Quote Details on Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity…
The history of every major galactic civilization has passed through three distinct and recognisable phases: those of survival, inquiry, and sophistication. Otherwise known as the ‘How’, ‘Why’, and ‘Where’ phases. For instance, the first phase is characterised by the question: “How can we eat?” The second by the question: “Why do we eat?” And the third by the question: “Where should we have lunch?” The history of warfare is similarly subdivided though here the phases are retribution, anticipation, and diplomacy. Thus, retribution: “I’m going to kill you because you killed my brother.” Anticipation: “I’m going to kill you because I killed your brother.” And diplomacy: “I’m going to kill my brother and then kill you on the pretext that your brother did it.” Meanwhile, the Earthman Arthur Dent, to whom all this can be of only academic interest, as his only brother was long ago nibbled to death by an okapi, is about to be plunged into a real intergalactic war. (Fit the Sixth.) - View Quote Details on The history of every major galactic civilization has passed through…
[The Guide] says that the best drink in existence is the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. It says that the effect of a Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster is like having your brains smashed out by a slice of lemon wrapped round a large gold brick. - View Quote Details on [The Guide] says that the best drink in existence is…
I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed. - View Quote Details on I think you ought to know I’m feeling very depressed.
He pounded his steering wheel, kicked the floor, thumped his casette player until it suddenly started playing Barry Manilow, thumped it until it stopped again, and swore and swore and swore and swore and swore. -c. 9, Rob McKenna’s actions while testing his windshield wipers. - View Quote Details on He pounded his steering wheel, kicked the floor, thumped his…
The universe is a lot more complicated than you might think even if you start from a position of thinking that its pretty damn complicated to begin with. - Mostly Harmless, The Guide, Mark II, c. ? - View Quote Details on The universe is a lot more complicated than you might…
Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur: “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
Mr Prosser: “That’s the display department.”
Arthur: “With a torch.”
Mr Prosser: “Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”
Arthur: “So had the stairs.”
Mr Prosser: “But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”
Arthur: “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.” - View Quote Details on Arthur:...">Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur:…
Ford stood up. “We’re safe,” he said.
“Oh good,” said Arthur.
“We’re in a small galley cabin,” said Ford, “in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet.”
“Ah,” said Arthur, “this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn’t previously aware of.” - View Quote Details on "Oh good,"...">Ford stood up. “We’re safe,” he said.
“Oh good,”…