As I write, Wallabies coach John Connolly will be inserting…

As I write, Wallabies coach John Connolly will be inserting rockets where it hurts. Oop pardon.

Rugby Commentary, Unsourced

Other Ben Dirs Quotes

Hayden marches down the pitch towards Collymore, bat raised, as if he’s just returned from the theatre to find him rifling through his wife. - View Quote Details on Hayden marches down the pitch towards Collymore, bat raised, as…
Federer has a baby on. He also looks like Quentin Tarantino. - View Quote Details on Federer has a baby on. He also looks like Quentin…
Umpire Billy Bowden is decked by a Jones sweep! How marvellous…I mean what a choker…A sweetly-timed shot by the England batsman, which strikes Bowden on the hip, sending sunnies and walkie-talkie flying. Shame for Jones, that was going for four. Bowden will have secretly loved that, the old drama tart. - View Quote Details on Umpire Billy Bowden is decked by a Jones sweep! How…
Monty went beserk, like a toddler who’s just been told he can’t have a Happy Meal. - View Quote Details on Monty went beserk, like a toddler who’s just been told…
Oof! McCullum kerplunks a fuller Sidebottom delivery for what looks a certain four until it smashes into Gillespie’s, erm, mummy-daddy button at the non-striker’s end and he is denied a run. That had to hurt. Gillespie turns down the opportunity to have it treated by the Kiwi physio - perhaps he’s not his type. - View Quote Details on Oof! McCullum kerplunks a fuller Sidebottom delivery for what looks…
Oh my life, that’s pitched on a length, jagged back and caught Gayle slap bang in the orchestras. Down goes the big man in a heap - his missus will be weeping into her Mothercare catalogue. A few sniggers from the England fielders. What is it about a man getting hit in the testicles by a very hard ball travelling at 88mph that makes other men laugh? That’s not a rhetorical question, I want answers. - View Quote Details on Oh my life, that’s pitched on a length, jagged back…
I like Monty, I’d like to sit with my arm round myself on the sofa all night watching documentaries on BBC Four. - View Quote Details on I like Monty, I’d like to sit with my arm…
Thinking about sexy times in my life, an internal flight in a storm in Nam (Viet, not Dagen) must be up there, but I also recall going to an Erasure concert in about 1990. That was astonishing. - View Quote Details on Thinking about sexy times in my life, an internal flight…
Anyone seen Kaka’s wife? Funnily enough, she’s a complete sort. She’s the sort of woman who, if she looked you in the eye in a bar and asked you where the fag machine was, you’d start giggling and snort. - View Quote Details on Anyone seen Kaka’s wife? Funnily enough, she’s a complete sort…
All the time in the world for Hook, he could have pulled out a cigarette, lit it and taken a couple of tugs before striking that. - View Quote Details on All the time in the world for Hook, he could…