Black Mage: So, Red Mage, enlighten us. How can a…

Black Mage: So, Red Mage, enlighten us. How can a plan that makes no sense work?
Red Mage: One simple reason: It makes too little sense to fail.
Black Mage: What.
Red Mage: Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That’s just basic cause and effect. It’s easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any given step will have no impact on the macro level.
Black Mage: That’s so stupid I can’t even see straight anymore.

Conversations, Episodes 901-1000

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero, we have no shelter, food, supplies of any kind, nor combustible materials that aren’t our flesh. I propose we cut open someone’s gut so the rest of us can sleep nestled within his warm entrails. The obvious choice for this sacrifice is Fighter because he is filled with meats.
Fighter: It’s true!
Red Mage: Wait, I have an idea! I have Ice spells! We’re saved!
Black Mage: Ice spells. Okay, Red Mage just volunteered.
Fighter: Aww… - View Quote Details on Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero,…
(to Black Mage) You are simply a horrible little monster and I pray for your quick and merciful death. - View Quote Details on (to Black Mage) You are simply a horrible little monster…
It’s not you, baby. It’s your knockers. I know those robes are supposed to emphasize your chaste modesty, but dyamn, girl. - View Quote Details on It’s not you, baby. It’s your knockers. I know those…
I could say it’s your destiny. That the fate of the world is written with your every deed. Or I could inform you that the ship is on autopilot and I’ll fill your lungs with taffy if you mess with it. - View Quote Details on I could say it’s your destiny. That the fate of…
If we disguise ourselves as dragon-food, we could take [the dragon] by surprise. - View Quote Details on If we disguise ourselves as dragon-food, we could take [the…
Thief: Let me ask you a tangential philosophical question.
Black Mage: Shoot.
Thief: If a contract is torn up and several fraudulent copies have been produced in the meantime, does the Black Mage cry?
Black Mage: He does. - View Quote Details on Thief: Let me ask you a tangential philosophical question.
Black Mage:…
Fighter: Oh yeah? Well then prepare for a steaming hot pile of action! TIGER’S FANG STRIKE!
Black Mage: Steaming pile?! - View Quote Details on Fighter: Oh yeah? Well then prepare for a steaming hot…
Fighter: Maybe we should level up a little before seeing the king so he knows we’re serious about this Light Warrior thing.
Red Mage: (Thinking) Level up to gain power or meet with the king to gain status and lord over newbies and impress girls… GHKKK!
*THUD*
Black Mage: Did he just faint?
Fighter: I thought I heard him say “Munchkin overload.”
Thief: I bet he probably fainted from exertion, what with carrying around these items that are heavy with um… value. I should liberate them. Er, for his own good of course. - View Quote Details on Fighter: Maybe we should level up a little before seeing…
I know a guy. - View Quote Details on I know a guy.
Fighter: (After being pummelled by a giant) Kill me.
Black Mage: Tempting, but I need you for a human shield… I mean, travelling companion. Yeah. - View Quote Details on Fighter: (After being pummelled by a giant) Kill me.
Black Mage:…