Black Mage: You pushed Red Mage… onto Fighter’s sword. Fighter: Which…

Black Mage: You pushed Red Mage… onto Fighter’s sword.
Fighter: Which is weird ’cause it started out sheathed.
Red Mage: I botched my athletics role… big time.

Conversations, Episodes 1-100

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Red Mage: (seeing Fighter panicking about spiders) Is there an off button for that thing?
Black Mage: Oh, he passes out after a while.
Thief: You know, my Backstab attack does double damage. I could make an off button for him.
Black Mage: Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to learn more. - View Quote Details on Red Mage: (seeing Fighter panicking about spiders) Is there an…
Black Mage: (to Fighter) Why do I allow you to breathe? Why?
Fighter: I always thought it was my wit and candor.
Red Mage: Before we set out for some leveling up, we should pool our money to invest in some weapons, armor, items, and spells and then stay at the local inn.
Thief: Good idea, Red Mage. Plus, it’ll give me time to take care of some business.
Black Mage: Just because you face the other way doesn’t mean we can’t still hear you.
Thief: Er… as your leader, I command you all to forget what I just said.
Fighter: Wait, you mean we should forget to forget what you said, or we should forget the part before that which I have already forgotten since it didn’t involve swords and is therefore meaningless?
Thief: (to Black Mage) Why do you allow him to breathe? - View Quote Details on Black Mage: (to Fighter) Why do I allow you to…
Black Mage: So, Red Mage, enlighten us. How can a plan that makes no sense work?
Red Mage: One simple reason: It makes too little sense to fail.
Black Mage: What.
Red Mage: Most plans are critically flawed by their own logic. A failure at any step will ruin everything after it. That’s just basic cause and effect. It’s easy for a good plan to fall apart. Therefore, a plan that has no attachment to logic cannot be stopped. The success or failure of any given step will have no impact on the macro level.
Black Mage: That’s so stupid I can’t even see straight anymore. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: So, Red Mage, enlighten us. How can a…
Astos? Mo’ like yo’ ass is toast! (Note that this line was so bad that it actually killed Astos) - View Quote Details on Astos? Mo’ like yo’ ass is toast! (Note that this…
Yes, soon the planets shall be in alignment with the ley lines of evil and I will usher in a new era of painful… erm, suffering and uh… discomfort in general. - View Quote Details on Yes, soon the planets shall be in alignment with the…
White Mage: What a pleasant landing that was.
Fighter: I’ll say!
Thief: It involved a lot less fire than usual.
Red Mage: And no blood!
White Mage: Oh, you guys are such jokesters. I can’t help but notice that you aren’t laughing. - View Quote Details on White Mage: What a pleasant landing that was.
Fighter: I’ll say!
Thief:…
Lich: What are you smiling about?
Black Mage: Can’t you tell? I’m looking forward to my demise. And freedom. - View Quote Details on Lich: What are you smiling about?
Black Mage: Can’t you tell?…
Just because I fly into a blind, homocidal rage at the drop of a helm doesn’t mean I’m incapable of appreciating the finer things in life. - View Quote Details on Just because I fly into a blind, homocidal rage at…
By simply altering my other stats, I can channel their points into my intelligence score, thus making me phenomenally smart! - View Quote Details on By simply altering my other stats, I can channel their…
Thief: Let me ask you a tangential philosophical question.
Black Mage: Shoot.
Thief: If a contract is torn up and several fraudulent copies have been produced in the meantime, does the Black Mage cry?
Black Mage: He does. - View Quote Details on Thief: Let me ask you a tangential philosophical question.
Black Mage:…