Clem: [talking to fire extinguisher] You’re talking to me all…

Clem: [talking to fire extinguisher] You’re talking to me all wrong… It’s the wrong tone. You do it again and I’ll stab you in the face with a soldering iron. Hey, tell me, does your mother sew? BOOM. Get her to sew that!

Other

Other Joe Dirt Quotes

Railroad Boy #1: Oh - it’s so flat! - View Quote Details on Railroad Boy #1: Oh - it’s so flat!
You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t you say it in the microphone. I got a backup mic right here. Check one two, testing, testing. Yup, they both working and guess what? They don’t like no feedback, what’s up? - View Quote Details on You guys got somethin’ to say to me? Why don’t…
It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole. - View Quote Details on It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole.
Turn it up! - View Quote Details on Turn it up!
Now, you’re telling me you were so ingrained with white trash DNA, your facial hair actually grows in on its own all white trashy like that? - View Quote Details on Now, you’re telling me you were so ingrained with white…
Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt! - View Quote Details on Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt!
When bad pets go bad, dang! - View Quote Details on When bad pets go bad, dang!
Right on! You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt. - View Quote Details on Right on! You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.
[To himself] YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT A FOR-EEK. You’re goin’ to Hell, man. - View Quote Details on [To himself] YOU JUST SAID YOUR SISTER WAS HOT. WHAT…
I got the poo on me!! - View Quote Details on I got the poo on me!!