“Come on,” he droned, “I’ve been ordered to take you…

“Come on,” he droned, “I’ve been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? ‘Cos I don’t.” –Marvin

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (novel), Chapter 11

Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can’t. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. -c. 1 - View Quote Details on One of the problems has to do with the speed…
“This Arthur Dent,” comes the cry from the farthest reaches of the galaxy, and has even now been found inscribed on a deep space probe thought to originate from an alien galaxy at a distance too hideous to contemplate, “what is he, man or mouse? Is he interested in nothing more than tea and the wider issues of life? Has he no spirit? Has he no passion? Does he not, to put it in a nutshell, fuck?”
Those who wish to know should read on. Others may wish to skip on to the last chapter which is a good bit and has Marvin in it. - c. 25 - View Quote Details on “This Arthur Dent,” comes the cry from the farthest reaches…
Old Thrashbarg was surprised at how many spaceship crashes he now had to weave into his stories to keep everyone from rushing off to watch Random’s wrist. - c. ? - View Quote Details on Old Thrashbarg was surprised at how many spaceship crashes he…
He pounded his steering wheel, kicked the floor, thumped his casette player until it suddenly started playing Barry Manilow, thumped it until it stopped again, and swore and swore and swore and swore and swore. -c. 9, Rob McKenna’s actions while testing his windshield wipers. - View Quote Details on He pounded his steering wheel, kicked the floor, thumped his…
“You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”
“Er, five,” said the mattress.
“Wrong,” said Marvin. “You see?”
The mattress was much impressed by this and realized that it was in the presence of a not unremarkable mind. - View Quote Details on “You may not instantly see why I bring the subject…
Marvin: “And then of course I’ve got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.”
Arthur: “Is that so?”
Marvin: “Oh yes. I mean I’ve asked for them to be replaced, but no one ever listens.”
Arthur: “I can imagine” - The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Fit The Second - View Quote Details on Marvin: “And then of course I’ve got this terrible pain…
Making it up?” said Marvin, swivelling his head in a parody of astonishment, “Why should I want to make anything up? Life’s bad enough as it is without wanting to invent any more of it. - View Quote Details on Making it up?” said Marvin, swivelling his head in a…
I am the main Dish of the Day. May I interest you in parts of my body? - View Quote Details on I am the main Dish of the Day. May I…
The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizable number of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this. The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem. This is: Change. Read it through again and you’ll get it. - View Quote Details on The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for…
“I would like to say that it is a very great pleasure, honour and privilege for me to open this bridge, but I can’t because my lying circuits are all out of commission.” —Marvin - View Quote Details on “I would like to say that it is a very…