Cousin Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that…

Cousin Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn’t you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn’t big enough.

Others

Other National Lampoon’s Vacation Quotes

I don’t give a frog’s fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna’s purse? - View Quote Details on I don’t give a frog’s fat ass who went through…
If someone doesn’t start explaining what’s going on here…well, there’s going to be some explaining to do! - View Quote Details on If someone doesn’t start explaining what’s going on here…well, there’s…
Aunt Edna: Is this your idea of a good restaurant? Dog killer! - View Quote Details on Aunt Edna: Is this your idea of a good restaurant?…
[the kids are playing Pacman while Clark is designing a map on the computer] Russ, please don’t eat the Truckster. - View Quote Details on [the kids are playing Pacman while Clark is designing a...
Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away? - View Quote Details on Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves…
I’m making out a check for $1000, all you have to do is give me $300 in cash and keep the $700, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep. - View Quote Details on I’m making out a check for $1000, all you have…
When I was a boy, just about every summer we’d take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun. - View Quote Details on When I was a boy, just about every summer we’d…
Arabs, Arabs, are they Arabs? Give them whatever they want. - View Quote Details on Arabs, Arabs, are they Arabs? Give them whatever they want.
Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that. - View Quote Details on Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the…
Marty Moose: Sorry, folks! We’re closed for two weeks to clean and repair America’s favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! - View Quote Details on Marty Moose: Sorry, folks! We’re closed for two weeks to…