Ford: “Life,” he said, “is like a grapefruit.” Creature: “Er,…

Ford: “Life,” he said, “is like a grapefruit.”
Creature: “Er, how so?”
Ford: “Well, it’s sort of orangey-yellow and dimpled on the outside, wet and squidgy in the middle. It’s got pips inside, too. Oh, and some people have half a one for breakfast.”

So Long And Thanks for All the Fish, Chapter 23

Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything so mindbogglingly useful could have evolved purely by chance that some thinkers have chosen to see it as a final and clinching proof of the non-existence of God. - View Quote Details on Now it is such a bizarrely improbable coincidence that anything…
The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish. - View Quote Details on The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly…
“If I had two heads like you, Zaphod, I could have hours of fun banging them against a wall.” - The Hitchhiker’s Guide the Galaxy Radio Series. - View Quote Details on “If I had two heads like you, Zaphod, I could…
And the wheel,” said the Captain, “What about this wheel thingy? It sounds a terribly interesting project.”
“Ah,” said the marketing girl, “Well, we’re having a little difficulty there.”
“Difficulty?” exclaimed Ford. “Difficulty? What do you mean, difficulty? It’s the single simplest machine in the entire Universe!”
The marketing girl soured him with a look.
“Alright, Mr Wiseguy,” she said, “you’re so clever, you tell us what colour it should be. - View Quote Details on And the wheel,” said the Captain, “What about this wheel…
The protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in the local language, to read “Go stick your head in a pig”, and are no longer illuminated, except at times of special celebration. - View Quote Details on The protruding upper halves of the letters now appear, in…
“My capacity for happiness,” he added, “you could fit into a matchbox without taking out the matches first.” —Marvin - View Quote Details on “My capacity for happiness,” he added, “you could fit into…
How do you feel?” he asked him.
“Like a military academy,” said Arthur, “bits of me keep on passing out. - View Quote Details on "Like a military...">How do you feel?” he asked him.
“Like a military…
One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can’t. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws. -c. 1 - View Quote Details on One of the problems has to do with the speed…
Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur: “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
Mr Prosser: “That’s the display department.”
Arthur: “With a torch.”
Mr Prosser: “Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”
Arthur: “So had the stairs.”
Mr Prosser: “But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”
Arthur: “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.” - View Quote Details on Arthur:...">Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur:…
The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move. - View Quote Details on The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This…