Garland: Evil Princess Sara? I had the forest imp dream…

Garland: Evil Princess Sara? I had the forest imp dream again. I’m scared.
Sara: In that case… go the hell away.

Conversations, Episodes 1-100

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero, we have no shelter, food, supplies of any kind, nor combustible materials that aren’t our flesh. I propose we cut open someone’s gut so the rest of us can sleep nestled within his warm entrails. The obvious choice for this sacrifice is Fighter because he is filled with meats.
Fighter: It’s true!
Red Mage: Wait, I have an idea! I have Ice spells! We’re saved!
Black Mage: Ice spells. Okay, Red Mage just volunteered.
Fighter: Aww… - View Quote Details on Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero,…
(to Garland) What part of this whole villain thing do you not understand?! - View Quote Details on (to Garland) What part of this whole villain thing do…
White Mage: It’s a good thing I know my share of healing spells. Not to mention morals!
Black Mage: Hey! I know of them. - View Quote Details on White Mage: It’s a good thing I know my share…
Oh, man, what a smell in that thing. Horrible. Anyway! You guys ordered an Apocalypse, if I’m right. - View Quote Details on Oh, man, what a smell in that thing. Horrible. Anyway!…
Lich: What are you smiling about?
Black Mage: Can’t you tell? I’m looking forward to my demise. And freedom. - View Quote Details on Lich: What are you smiling about?
Black Mage: Can’t you tell?…
Moron. I never owned an invisible sky castle. Just that regularly visible one over there. - View Quote Details on Moron. I never owned an invisible sky castle. Just that…
For +3 endurance, I’d wear my own underwear over my armor. - View Quote Details on For +3 endurance, I’d wear my own underwear over my…
Well, my dad was king, so now I’m king. But now that I think about it, genetics is not a very good system of determining executive power. Even the most capable and caring and beloved leader–much less my greedy, thieving father–can have an incompetent son so mindbogglingly stupid that he could singlehandedly flush the world’s greatest nation down the sewer before the populace at large has a chance to notice–which is exactly what the Cornerian Press used to say about me before I decreed that it was the civic duty of the press to never, ever question my rule, which I then also decreed to be absolute and perfect. So now even thinking that I’m not a perfect and benevolent ruler is crime. So now I can do crazy stuff like drill for Mana in Endangered Species Forest. Weee! - View Quote Details on Well, my dad was king, so now I’m king. But…
D’you ever wonder if clouds see shapes in the ground? Because I wonder about that a lot. - View Quote Details on D’you ever wonder if clouds see shapes in the ground?…
Black Mage: (Regarding Ranger) I don’t get it. What’s that jerk got that I ain’t?
White Mage: You mean besides a grasp of grammar?
Black Mage: Me talk good!
White Mage: Well, let’s see…He knows the difference between right and wrong. Morals. A complete understanding of the theories and practical applications of personal hygiene. Friends. A face. The respect of his peers.
Black Mage: Hey! I have friends. (Pause) I have a friend.
White Mage: What you have is a highly dysfunctional relationship based exclusively on abuse.
Black Mage: Right, a friend.
White Mage: See, that, that right there. That’s what’s wrong with you. (Leaves)
Black Mage: (Pause) Dammit, Fighter. White Mage doesn’t like me because you’re a rotten friend.
Fighter: I’m horrible! - View Quote Details on Black Mage: (Regarding Ranger) I don’t get it. What’s that…