I hate women because they always know where things are.

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Other James Thurber Quotes

Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody else? - View Quote Details on Why do you have to be a nonconformist like everybody…
When all things are equal, translucence in writing is more effective than transparency, just as glow is more revealing than glare. - View Quote Details on When all things are equal, translucence in writing is more…
Some American writers who have known each other for years have never met in the daytime or when both were sober. - View Quote Details on Some American writers who have known each other for years…
The most dangerous food is wedding cake. - View Quote Details on The most dangerous food is wedding cake.
Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything. - View Quote Details on Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it…
Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without being man enough to face the simple truth that the trouble with Man is Man. - View Quote Details on Man has gone long enough, or even too long, without…
Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in a breakfast nook looked up from his scrambled eggs to see a white unicorn with a golden horn quietly cropping the roses in the garden. The man went up to the bedroom where his wife was still asleep and woke her. “There’s a unicorn in the garden,” he said. “Eating roses.” She opened one unfriendly eye and looked at him. “The unicorn is a mythical beast,” she said, and turned her back on him. The man walked slowly downstairs and out into the garden. The unicorn was still there; he was now browsing among the tulips. - View Quote Details on Once upon a sunny morning a man who sat in…
Every time is a time for comedy in a world of tension that would languish without it. But I cannot confine myself to lightness in a period of human life that demands light… We all know that, as the old adage has it, “It is later than you think.”…, but I also say occasionally: “It is lighter than you think.” In this light let’s not look back in anger, or forward in fear, but around in awareness. - View Quote Details on Every time is a time for comedy in a world…
Who are you?” the minstrel asked. “I am the Golux,” said the Golux, proudly, “the only Golux in the world, and not a mere Device. - View Quote Details on Who are you?” the minstrel asked. “I am the Golux,”…
A word to the wise is not sufficient if it doesn’t make any sense. - View Quote Details on A word to the wise is not sufficient if it…