I have to mime at parties when everyone sings Happy…

I have to mime at parties when everyone sings Happy Birthday…mime or mumble and rumble and growl and grunt so deep that only moles, manta rays and mushrooms can hear me.

Sourced, Moab is My Washpot (autobiography, 1997)

on his frustrating inability to sing

Other Stephen Fry Quotes

Sometimes there just isn’t enough vomit in the world.. (Once on Have I Got News For You and once on Q.I.) - View Quote Details on Sometimes there just isn’t enough vomit in the world.. (Once…
I don’t think we should ever allow religion the trick of maintaining that the spiritual and the beautiful and the noble and the altruistic and the morally strong and the virtuous are in any way inventions of religion or particular or peculiar to religion. It’s certainly true that you could say the Christ who said “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone” - that’s a wonderful to have said. Anyone who said that would earn a great deal of respect and interest, you’d say that’s one of most beautiful phrases ever, ever uttered. But there is no, absolutely no monopoly on beauty and truth in religion, and I suppose one of the reasons that I’m so fond of the Greeks, and one of the reasons that the great radical and poet Shelley wrote his Prometheus Unbound was that he understood that if you were to compare the Genesis myth, which has, which had bedeviled our culture, the Western European culture for a very long time indeed, for two thousand years, it was essentially a myth in which we should be ashamed of ourselves. God says: who told you you were naked? What possible reason have we to believe that we are naked or that if we are naked there is something to be ashamed of, that what we are and what we do is something for which we should ever apologise, we should apologise for our dreams, our impulses, our appetites, our drives, our desires, are not things to apologise for. Our actions sometimes we do apologise for and we excoriate ourselves for and rightly, but that’s the Genesis myth. The Greek myth of Prometheus, who stole fire from heaven and who gave to his favourite - his favourite mortal: man. In other words what the Greeks were saying is that we have divine fire, whatever is divine is in us, as humans. We are as good as the gods. The gods are capricious and mean and foolish and stupid and jealous and rapine and all the things that Greek mythology show us that they are, and that’s a much better it seems to me - and for that the gods punished Prometheus and chained him to the Caucasus and vultures chewed away at his liver everyday as it regrew because he was immortal of course, and Shelley quite rightly understood - and interestingly his wife of course wrote Frankenstein as the modern Prometheus - understood that that mythological idea, that champion of a real humanity and a real humanism, as we’ve come to call it, is we are captains of our soul and masters of our destiny, and that we contain any divine fire that there is, divine fire that is fine and great. I mean it’s perfectly obvious that if there were ever a God he has lost all possible taste. You’ve only got to look - forget the aggression and unpleasantness of the radical right or the Islamic hordes to the East - the sheer lack of intelligence and insight and ability to express themselves and to enthuse others of the priesthood and the clerisy here, in this country, and indeed in Europe, you know God once had Bach and Michelangelo on his side, he had Mozart, and now who does he have? People with ginger whiskers and tinted spectacles who reduce the glories of theology to a kind of sharing, you know? That’s what religion has become a feeble and anaemic nonsense, because we understood that the fire was within us, it was not in some idol on an altar, whether it was a gold cross or whether it was a Buddha or anything else, that we have it. The fault is in our stars, but also the glory is (correcting himself) in us not in our stars. The glory - anything - we take credit for what is great about man and we take blame for what is dreadful about man, we neither grovel or apologise at the feet of a god, or are so infantile as to project the idea that we once had a father as human beings and we therefore should have a divine one too. We have to grow up, which is partly what Christopher was saying. - View Quote Details on I don’t think we should ever allow religion the trick…
My vocal cords are made of tweed. I give off an air of Oxford donnishness and old BBC wirelesses. - View Quote Details on My vocal cords are made of tweed. I give off…
It is, I know, for I have experienced it perhaps twice in my life, an awful privilege to be too much loved and perhaps the kindest thing I ever did in my life was never to let Matthew know to what degree he had destroyed my peace and my happiness. - View Quote Details on It is, I know, for I have experienced it perhaps…
An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library must be full of them. - View Quote Details on An original idea. That can’t be too hard. The library…
LSD reveals the whatness of things, their quiddity, their essence. The wateriness of water is suddenly revealed to you, the carpetness of carpets, the woodness of wood, the yellowness of yellow, the fingernailness of fingernails, the allness of all, the nothingness of all, the allness of nothing. For me music gives access to every one of these essences of existence, but at a fraction of the social or financial cost of a drug and without the need to cry ‘Wow!’ all the time, which is one of LSD’s most distressing and least endearing side-effects. - View Quote Details on LSD reveals the whatness of things, their quiddity, their essence…
How can one not be fond of something that the Daily Mail despises? - View Quote Details on How can one not be fond of something that the…
I think animal testing is cruel. They might get nervous and give silly answers. (From an episode of A Bit of Fry and Laurie ) - View Quote Details on I think animal testing is cruel. They might get nervous…
I don’t need you to remind me of my age, I have a bladder to do that for me. - View Quote Details on I don’t need you to remind me of my age,…
greasy, miserable, British and pathetic - View Quote Details on greasy, miserable, British and pathetic