I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave…

I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up—they have no holidays.

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Other Henny Youngman Quotes

Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering. - View Quote Details on Why don’t Jews drink? It interferes with their suffering.
A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well. - View Quote Details on A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so…
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - View Quote Details on I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her…
Now she’s on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t lost any weight. But she can climb a tree! - View Quote Details on Now she’s on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t…
You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for it. - View Quote Details on You can’t buy love, but you can pay heavily for…
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman “Can I park here?” “No” says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask! - View Quote Details on A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks…
My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn’t do that. But for $80, they lowered her body. - View Quote Details on My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn’t do that…
My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours, and that was only for the estimate. - View Quote Details on My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours,…
If there’s ever a price on your head, take it. - View Quote Details on If there’s ever a price on your head, take it.
The more I think of you the less I think of you. - View Quote Details on The more I think of you the less I think…