I think you’re all fucked in the head! We’re ten…

I think you’re all fucked in the head! We’re ten hours from fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun, I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun, we’re all gonna have so much fucking fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy; I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Oh, shit!

Clark Griswold

Other National Lampoon’s Vacation Quotes

Cousin Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn’t you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn’t big enough. - View Quote Details on Cousin Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that…
Ellen Griswold: I’m not sure of his exact height and weight. All I know is that the man was a saint with children and a genius with food additives and he was… Clark! - View Quote Details on Ellen Griswold: I’m not sure of his exact height and…
I don’t give a frog’s fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna’s purse? - View Quote Details on I don’t give a frog’s fat ass who went through…
If someone doesn’t start explaining what’s going on here…well, there’s going to be some explaining to do! - View Quote Details on If someone doesn’t start explaining what’s going on here…well, there’s…
Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that. - View Quote Details on Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the…
Audrey Griswold: She breathed on me! A dead person breathed on me! - View Quote Details on Audrey Griswold: She breathed on me! A dead person breathed…
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya. - View Quote Details on Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose out…
Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away? - View Quote Details on Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves…
When I was a boy, just about every summer we’d take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun. - View Quote Details on When I was a boy, just about every summer we’d…
Aunt Edna: Is this your idea of a good restaurant? Dog killer! - View Quote Details on Aunt Edna: Is this your idea of a good restaurant?…