I’d like to introduce you to some friends of mine…

I’d like to introduce you to some friends of mine. I want to break off with them.

Unsourced, Spite, venom, and gleeful denunciations

I looked high and low for you. I didn’t look low enough. - View Quote Details on I looked high and low for you. I didn’t look…
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman “Can I park here?” “No” says the cop. “What about all these other cars?” “They didn’t ask! - View Quote Details on A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks…
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others. - View Quote Details on All men are not homeless, but some men are home…
If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why don’t you break the monotony? - View Quote Details on If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why…
You have a ready wit. Let me know when it’s ready. - View Quote Details on You have a ready wit. Let me know when it’s…
Take my wife—please! - View Quote Details on Take my wife—please!
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. - View Quote Details on I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her…
To Dean Martin—Dean, if you had your life to live over again, do it overseas. - View Quote Details on To Dean Martin—Dean, if you had your life to live…
You’re the kind of person I would like to have over when I have the measles. - View Quote Details on You’re the kind of person I would like to have…
I think the world of you…and you know what condition the world is in today. - View Quote Details on I think the world of you…and you know what condition…