If you want a job done right, hire a guy…

If you want a job done right, hire a guy with a monkey for a head. That’s what I always say.

Bob the Killer Goldfish

Other Earthworm Jim Quotes

Hello, I’m just an ordinary businessman from Omaha. Any resemblance to a cat is purely coincidental. - View Quote Details on Hello, I’m just an ordinary businessman from Omaha. Any resemblance…
“Plan A: Senseless violence. Okay, muchacho, EAT DIRT!” (maniacal laughter as he fires blaster) - View Quote Details on “Plan A: Senseless violence. Okay, muchacho, EAT DIRT!” (maniacal laughter…
I told him not to shoot my right profile! He made me look like some kind of freak! - View Quote Details on I told him not to shoot my right profile! He…
Da wages of sin is death, but da hours are good. - View Quote Details on Da wages of sin is death, but da hours are…
Now that I have shrunk you down to microscopic size with (voice changes to that of a TV commercial announcer) Professor Monkey-For-A-Head’s Patented Reducing Cream, in lotion or ointment form, (normal voice) I shall crush you like…uh…some easily crushed thing. - View Quote Details on Now that I have shrunk you down to microscopic size…
“I’m afraid I can’t save the world today, Mr. President. I’m on a mission of the utmost importance.” (sits down with Peter and Snott to read Fuzzy Wuzzy’s Funny Animals Pop-Up Book) - View Quote Details on “I’m afraid I can’t save the world today, Mr. President…
(after Monkey turns on the TV to Earthworm Jim) “Turn that off! You know I hate that program!” - View Quote Details on (after Monkey turns on the TV to Earthworm Jim) “Turn…
“Cheesy effects! It’s like the tex mex that TIME FORGOT!”(Earthworm Jim 3) - View Quote Details on “Cheesy effects! It’s like the tex mex that TIME FORGOT!”(Earthworm…
Hello, despite my appearance I’m not Evil the Cat in a cunning disguise - View Quote Details on Hello, despite my appearance I’m not Evil the Cat in…
I will chop you into bits so small, you could fit them through a screen door!! - View Quote Details on I will chop you into bits so small, you could…