I’ll be honest. You’re not my first choice.

Lester

God is a luxury I can’t afford. - View Quote Details on God is a luxury I can’t afford.
Comedy equals tragedy plus time. - View Quote Details on Comedy equals tragedy plus time.
If it bends it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not funny. - View Quote Details on If it bends it’s funny. If it breaks, it’s not…
I’ve gone out the window. - View Quote Details on I’ve gone out the window.
The last time I was inside a woman was when I visited the Statue of Liberty. - View Quote Details on The last time I was inside a woman was when…
Where I grew up in Brooklyn, everybody was too unhappy to commit suicide. - View Quote Details on Where I grew up in Brooklyn, everybody was too unhappy…
When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas, what he really wants is to exchange fluids. - View Quote Details on When he tells you he wants to exchange ideas, what…
Right, I won’t! - View Quote Details on Right, I won’t!
A strange man defecated on my sister. - View Quote Details on A strange man defecated on my sister.
One sin leads to a deeper sin. - View Quote Details on One sin leads to a deeper sin.