I’m going to die homeless, penniless, and 30 pounds overweight.

As Stuart Smalley

Other Al Franken Quotes

If you listen to a lot of conservatives, they’ll tell you that the difference between them and us is that conservatives love America and liberals hate America…. They don’t get it. We love America just as much as they do. But in a different way. You see, they love America the way a 4-year-old loves her Mommy. Liberals love America like grown-ups. To a 4-year-old, everything Mommy does is wonderful and anyone who criticizes Mommy is bad. Grown-up love means actually understanding what you love, taking the good with the bad, and helping your loved one grow. Love takes attention and work and is the best thing in the world. - View Quote Details on If you listen to a lot of conservatives, they’ll tell…
You’re should-ing all over yourself. - View Quote Details on You’re should-ing all over yourself.
That’s just stinkin’ thinkin! - View Quote Details on That’s just stinkin’ thinkin!
I think if you’re going to do a movie about Reagan, you do it about the fact that he created the huge deficit, that he armed the Mujahideen, that he armed Saddam, that he armed Iran, that he armed two-thirds of the Axis of Evil, and that he funded terrorists in Central America. He was, in my mind, a terrible president. - View Quote Details on I think if you’re going to do a movie about…
I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me. - View Quote Details on I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people…
When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly good advice, ignore them both. - View Quote Details on When you encounter seemingly good advice that contradicts other seemingly…
It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the whole world. - View Quote Details on It’s easier to put on slippers than to carpet the…
Whining is just anger coming out of a very small opening. - View Quote Details on Whining is just anger coming out of a very small…
Drug war, well, as Rush Limbaugh said, anyone who uses drugs illegally should be prosecuted and put away. I don’t agree with him: I think they should be treated, but that’s what Rush believes and so, you know, we’re praying for Rush because he’s in recovery and you take responsibilities for your actions so I’m sure any day now Rush will demand to be put away for the maximum sentence and ask for the most dangerous prison and we’ll be praying for maybe an African American cellmate who saw the Donovan McNabb comments on ESPN. So we’re prayin’. - View Quote Details on Drug war, well, as Rush Limbaugh said, anyone who uses…
There’s no liberal echo chamber in this country. There’s a right-wing echo chamber. I want to create a countervailing echo chamber. - View Quote Details on There’s no liberal echo chamber in this country. There’s a…