I’m making out a check for $1000, all you have…

I’m making out a check for $1000, all you have to do is give me $300 in cash and keep the $700, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep.

Clark Griswold

Other National Lampoon’s Vacation Quotes

Arabs, Arabs, are they Arabs? Give them whatever they want. - View Quote Details on Arabs, Arabs, are they Arabs? Give them whatever they want.
Ahhh! I’d like to propose a toast, if I may? Here’s to…a very restful vacation. Here’s to…a very relaxing vacation. A renewed love affair. And…a time of joy with our babies. - View Quote Details on Ahhh! I’d like to propose a toast, if I may?…
The Girl in the Ferrari: It’s too bad you’re married… I’m in the mood for some fun! - View Quote Details on The Girl in the Ferrari: It’s too bad you’re married…
Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves in two minutes… or perhaps you don’t want to see the second largest ball of twine on the face of the earth, which is only four short hours away? - View Quote Details on Hey, hey, easy kids. Everybody in the car. Boat leaves…
Audrey Griswold: She breathed on me! A dead person breathed on me! - View Quote Details on Audrey Griswold: She breathed on me! A dead person breathed…
When I was a boy, just about every summer we’d take a vacation. And you know, in 18 years, we never had fun. - View Quote Details on When I was a boy, just about every summer we’d…
I think you’re all fucked in the head! We’re ten hours from fucking fun park and you want to bail out. Well I’ll tell you something, this is no longer a vacation, it’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun, I’m gonna have fun and you’re gonna have fun, we’re all gonna have so much fucking fun we’ll need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles! You’ll be whistling Zip-A-Dee-Doo-Dah out of your assholes! I gotta be crazy; I’m on a pilgrimage to see a moose! Praise Marty Moose! Oh, shit! - View Quote Details on I think you’re all fucked in the head! We’re ten…
Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that. - View Quote Details on Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the…
Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose out front shoulda told ya. - View Quote Details on Lasky, Guard at Walleyworld: Sorry folks, park’s closed. Moose out…
I don’t give a frog’s fat ass who went through what. We need money! Hey, Russ, wanna look through Aunt Edna’s purse? - View Quote Details on I don’t give a frog’s fat ass who went through…