Jump overboard! It’s the only way to save yourself from…

Jump overboard! It’s the only way to save yourself from the sea-monsters!

Light Warriors, Fighter McWarrior

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Young Fighter: We’ll be bosom chums! We’ll traverse the landscapes of growing up in this crazy world. We’ll have our ups and downs, but in the end, we’ll always be there for each other. It’ll be great!
Young Black Mage: Sounds wonderful, yeah. Turn around for me?
Young Fighter: Sure thing, best buddy!
(Young Black Mage tries to stab Young Fighter, but to no avail.)
Young Fighter: We’ll overcome all kinds of trials like bullies and homework and girls…
(Young Black Mage tries to stab Young Fighter some more.)
Young Fighter:…and unreasoning school principals who are the font of all stagnation in the known universe.
Young Black Mage: What part of being stabbed do you not understand? - View Quote Details on Young Fighter: We’ll be bosom chums! We’ll traverse the landscapes…
Fighter: Good ol’ Black Mage, he’s always trying to help people.
White Mage: What are you talking about!
Fighter: Black Mage is always helping people. The problem is, they almost never understand his unique brand of help so they usually end up yelling… or screaming… or burning.
White Mage: Why me? - View Quote Details on Fighter: Good ol’ Black Mage, he’s always trying to help…
Mom! How many times must I ask you to refer to me by my dark name of the damned? - View Quote Details on Mom! How many times must I ask you to refer…
Show me something that beats a natural twenty and I’ll show you hateful lies! - View Quote Details on Show me something that beats a natural twenty and I’ll…
Black Mage: (Regarding Ranger) I don’t get it. What’s that jerk got that I ain’t?
White Mage: You mean besides a grasp of grammar?
Black Mage: Me talk good!
White Mage: Well, let’s see…He knows the difference between right and wrong. Morals. A complete understanding of the theories and practical applications of personal hygiene. Friends. A face. The respect of his peers.
Black Mage: Hey! I have friends. (Pause) I have a friend.
White Mage: What you have is a highly dysfunctional relationship based exclusively on abuse.
Black Mage: Right, a friend.
White Mage: See, that, that right there. That’s what’s wrong with you. (Leaves)
Black Mage: (Pause) Dammit, Fighter. White Mage doesn’t like me because you’re a rotten friend.
Fighter: I’m horrible! - View Quote Details on Black Mage: (Regarding Ranger) I don’t get it. What’s that…
Fighter: Oh yeah? Well then prepare for a steaming hot pile of action! TIGER’S FANG STRIKE!
Black Mage: Steaming pile?! - View Quote Details on Fighter: Oh yeah? Well then prepare for a steaming hot…
Black Mage: We came to the frozen asshole of the planet like Sarda said. What I wanna know is, where’s the crappy Item of Great Power we were promised? ‘Cause I don’t see it. If it’s something lame and immaterial like “friendship” or “trust,” I’ll have to cut his face off.
Red Mage: Yeah, I don’t need a quest to teach me the importance of faking friendship. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: We came to the frozen asshole of the…
Thief: I’ll have you know “Drizz’L” roughly translates to “The Relentless Scourge”.
Black Mage: Yeah, like the relentless scourge of having a really stupid name. - View Quote Details on Thief: I’ll have you know “Drizz’L” roughly translates to “The…
Red Mage: (seeing Fighter panicking about spiders) Is there an off button for that thing?
Black Mage: Oh, he passes out after a while.
Thief: You know, my Backstab attack does double damage. I could make an off button for him.
Black Mage: Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to learn more. - View Quote Details on Red Mage: (seeing Fighter panicking about spiders) Is there an…
Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily a +4/+4 Armor of Kick Ass.
Black Mage: Mo’ like a +Stupid/+Dumb Armor of Idiot. - View Quote Details on Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily…