Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of…

Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of wits with you. I never attack anyone who is unarmed.

Unsourced, Spite, venom, and gleeful denunciations

Other Henny Youngman Quotes

A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well. - View Quote Details on A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so…
If there’s ever a price on your head, take it. - View Quote Details on If there’s ever a price on your head, take it.
Now she’s on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t lost any weight. But she can climb a tree! - View Quote Details on Now she’s on a diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t…
The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. - View Quote Details on The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
You have a ready wit. Let me know when it’s ready. - View Quote Details on You have a ready wit. Let me know when it’s…
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up—they have no holidays. - View Quote Details on I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave…
Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness whenever you go. - View Quote Details on Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness…
If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why don’t you break the monotony? - View Quote Details on If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why…
I asked a Jewish man “Do you know where Michigan Avenue is?” He said “Yes”, and walked away. - View Quote Details on I asked a Jewish man “Do you know where Michigan…
The more I think of you the less I think of you. - View Quote Details on The more I think of you the less I think…