Marvin: “And then of course I’ve got this terrible pain…

Marvin: “And then of course I’ve got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.”
Arthur: “Is that so?”
Marvin: “Oh yes. I mean I’ve asked for them to be replaced, but no one ever listens.”
Arthur: “I can imagine” - The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Fit The Second

Radio series

Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Therefore, there must be a finite number of inhabited worlds. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near to nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely the products of a deranged imagination. - View Quote Details on It is known that there are an infinite number of…
Beeblebrox, over here!” he shouted.
“No,” called Zaphod, “Beeblebrox over here! Who are you?”
“A friend!” shouted back the man. He ran towards Zaphod.
“Oh yeah?” said Zaphod. “Anyone’s friend in particular, or just generally well disposed to people? - View Quote Details on "No," called Zaphod, "Beeblebrox over here!...">Beeblebrox, over here!” he shouted.
“No,” called Zaphod, “Beeblebrox over here!…
Old woman Oracle: “Can you help me pull out the photocopier?”
Arthur: “What?”
OWO: “The photocopier. It’s solar-powered, but I have to keep it in the cave so the birds don’t shit on it.” - c. ? - View Quote Details on Old woman Oracle: “Can you help me pull out the…
The ship was rocking and swaying sickeningly as Ford and Zaphod tried to wrest control from the autopilot. The engines howled and whined like tired children in a supermarket. - View Quote Details on The ship was rocking and swaying sickeningly as Ford and…
Very few things actually get manufactured these days, because in an infinitely large Universe such as, for instance, the one in which we live, most things one could possibly imagine, and a lot of things one would rather not, grow somewhere. - View Quote Details on Very few things actually get manufactured these days, because in…
“[...] one’s never alone with a rubber duck.” —Captain of the Golgafrinchans - View Quote Details on “[...] one’s never alone with a rubber duck.” —Captain of…
“If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I want it caught and shot now.” –Zaphod - View Quote Details on “If there’s anything more important than my ego around, I…
“You may not instantly see why I bring the subject up, but that is because my mind works so phenomenally fast, and I am at a rough estimate thirty billion times more intelligent than you. Let me give you an example. Think of a number, any number.”
“Er, five,” said the mattress.
“Wrong,” said Marvin. “You see?”
The mattress was much impressed by this and realized that it was in the presence of a not unremarkable mind. - View Quote Details on “You may not instantly see why I bring the subject…
Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits, so they eventually gave up and left the Earth by their own means shortly before the Vogons arrived. - View Quote Details on Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending…
The last time anybody made a list of the top hundred character attributes of New Yorkers, common sense snuck in at number 79. - c. 2 - View Quote Details on The last time anybody made a list of the top…