My axe is named Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin…

My axe is named Roosevelt. After Franklin, not Ted. Franklin was the cute one with the polio.

Juno MacGuff

Other Juno (film) Quotes

I don’t know, I just wanted something a little more edgier. I was thinking more like graphic designer, mid-thirties, you know? With a cool Asian girlfriend, who, like dresses awesome and rocks out on the bass guitar. But I don’t want to be too particular. - View Quote Details on I don’t know, I just wanted something a little more…
Vijay: I’m gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count. - View Quote Details on Vijay: I’m gonna stop wearing underwear. Raise my sperm count.
The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me. Jocks like him always want freaky girls. Girls with horn-rimmed glasses and vegan footwear and Goth makeup. Girls who play the cello and wear Converse All-Stars and want to be children’s librarians when they grow up. Oh yeah, jocks totally eat that shit up. They just won’t admit it because they’re supposed to be into perfect cheerleaders like Leah, who, incidentally, is into teachers. - View Quote Details on The funny thing is that Steve Rendazo secretly wants me…
Excuse me, can we get my kid the damn spinal tap already? - View Quote Details on Excuse me, can we get my kid the damn spinal…
Leah: [seeing Juno and Paulie kissing] You know, you can go into early labor sucking face like that! [Juno gives her the finger] - View Quote Details on Leah: [seeing Juno and Paulie kissing] You know, you can…
When I see them all running like that, with their things bouncing around in their shorts, I always picture them naked, even if I don’t want to. All I see are pork swords. - View Quote Details on When I see them all running like that, with their…
I’m a kraken from the sea! - View Quote Details on I’m a kraken from the sea!
Is it boy troubles? Cause I don’t really approve of you dating in your condition. - View Quote Details on Is it boy troubles? Cause I don’t really approve of…
My dad used to be in the Army, but now he’s just your average H-VAC specialist. He and my mom got divorced when I was five and now she lives on a Havasu reservation in Arizona with her new husband and three replacement kids. Oh, and she inexplicably mails me a cactus every Valentine’s Day. And I’m like, “Thanks a heap, Coyote Ugly, this cactus-gram stings even worse than your abandonment.” - View Quote Details on My dad used to be in the Army, but now…
Yeah, you just take Soupy Sales to prom. I can think of so many cooler things to do that night. Like, you know what Bleek? I might pumice my feet, uh, I might go to Bren’s dumb Unitarian Church, maybe get hit by a truck full of hot garbage juice, you know? ‘Cause all those things would be exponentially cooler than going to prom with you! - View Quote Details on Yeah, you just take Soupy Sales to prom. I can…