My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours,…

My wife was at the beauty shop for two hours, and that was only for the estimate.

Unsourced, The wife and marriage

Other Henny Youngman Quotes

Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness whenever you go. - View Quote Details on Some people bring happiness wherever they go. You bring happiness…
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - View Quote Details on When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave…
A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so the woman made chicken soup out of the other one to help the sick one get well. - View Quote Details on A Jewish woman had 2 chickens. One got sick, so…
If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why don’t you break the monotony? - View Quote Details on If there’s never been a suicide in your family, why…
The more I think of you the less I think of you. - View Quote Details on The more I think of you the less I think…
My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn’t do that. But for $80, they lowered her body. - View Quote Details on My wife wanted her face lifted. They couldn’t do that…
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up—they have no holidays. - View Quote Details on I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave…
Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of wits with you. I never attack anyone who is unarmed. - View Quote Details on Look, I’m not going to engage in a battle of…
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s light, she starts eating. - View Quote Details on My wife is a light eater. As soon as it’s…
My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman in the world. This is a paid political announcement. - View Quote Details on My wife is the sweetest, most tolerant, most beautiful woman…