Never allow a nervous female to have access to a…

Never allow a nervous female to have access to a pistol, no matter what you’re wearing.

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Other James Thurber Quotes

I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not want one, for the simple reason that if he listened to me long enough, he might become disturbed. - View Quote Details on I do not have a psychiatrist and I do not…
I always begin at the left with the opening word of the sentence and read toward the right and I recommend this method. - View Quote Details on I always begin at the left with the opening word…
My opposition lies in the fact that offhand answers have little value or grace of expression, and that such oral give and take helps to perpetuate the decline of the English language. - View Quote Details on My opposition lies in the fact that offhand answers have…
Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it improves everything. - View Quote Details on Laughter need not be cut out of anything, since it…
The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up to its level of sagacity, but Man has frequently dragged the dog down to his. - View Quote Details on The dog has seldom been successful in pulling Man up…
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone? - View Quote Details on Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you…
Man is flying too fast for a world that is round. Soon he will catch up with himself in a great rear end collision. - View Quote Details on Man is flying too fast for a world that is…
I think that maybe if women and children were in charge we would get somewhere. - View Quote Details on I think that maybe if women and children were in…
But those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the hearts of men, leave behind them something more real and warmly personal than bodily presence, an ineffable and eternal thing. It is everlasting life touching us as something more than a vague, recondite concept. The sound of a great name dies like an echo; the splendor of fame fades into nothing; but the grace of a fine spirit pervades the places through which it has passed, like the haunting loveliness of mignonette. - View Quote Details on But those rare souls whose spirit gets magically into the…
There is something about a poet which leads us to believe that he died, in many cases, as long as 20 years before his birth. - View Quote Details on There is something about a poet which leads us to…