“Ode to Mine Suffering,” by Vilbert. My life is torment…

“Ode to Mine Suffering,” by Vilbert. My life is torment. Who are you, misunderstander? My life is torment. What are you, mean bully jock? My life is torment. What is a soul, if not a bowl of pain? A bowl of pain. A bowl of pain.

Dark Warriors, Vilbert Von Vampire

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero, we have no shelter, food, supplies of any kind, nor combustible materials that aren’t our flesh. I propose we cut open someone’s gut so the rest of us can sleep nestled within his warm entrails. The obvious choice for this sacrifice is Fighter because he is filled with meats.
Fighter: It’s true!
Red Mage: Wait, I have an idea! I have Ice spells! We’re saved!
Black Mage: Ice spells. Okay, Red Mage just volunteered.
Fighter: Aww… - View Quote Details on Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero,…
(to Thief) Well look at that, another beautiful miracle. If it weren’t for my atheism, I’d be impressed by it. - View Quote Details on (to Thief) Well look at that, another beautiful miracle. If…
This is the most pathetic battle ever. Let’s never, never, never talk about it again. - View Quote Details on This is the most pathetic battle ever. Let’s never, never,…
Thief: This can’t be the right place.
Fighter: The little sign above the door said “Von Vampire Residence”.
Black Mage: Oh please. That doesn’t prove anything. It’s only a last name. It’s not like Fighter’s last name is Knight.
Fighter: Yeah, my last name is McWarrior. Duh. (To Black Mage) And your last name is Evilwizardington.
Black Mage: (So much suffering will be visited upon you…) - View Quote Details on Thief: This can’t be the right place.
Fighter: The little sign…
Shut up. I’ve been hanging out with Fighter all day. I could literally feel him sucking away at my… brain-thinky score thing. - View Quote Details on Shut up. I’ve been hanging out with Fighter all day…
The problem with guards is that they are too inquisitive for their own good. That and the clean up afterwards is always such a bitch. - View Quote Details on The problem with guards is that they are too inquisitive…
Great Moradin’s beard! I don’t mean to alarm you, sir, but there seems to be an axe lodged in your head, elf. - View Quote Details on Great Moradin’s beard! I don’t mean to alarm you, sir,…
What a beautiful day. I feel completely rejuvenated. Especially in that I’ve got a new Hadoken for the day so don’t try anything especially stupid way. - View Quote Details on What a beautiful day. I feel completely rejuvenated. Especially in…
Thief: (after Black Mage stabs Fighter) I want to be surprised by that, but I can’t be.
Black Mage: It’s what he would have wanted… if he was me. - View Quote Details on Thief: (after Black Mage stabs Fighter) I want to be…
Black Mage: I see you guys have been recruiting nine other gentlemen into our midst. I wouldn’t mind their dancing or their prancing, but it’s making me very dizzy.
Red Mage: Uh, are you okay?
Black Mage: Oh yes. Peachy, I’d say. Someone should really answer that phone though. The incessant ringing is like some sort of… loud ringing that won’t, you know, go away.
Red Mage: I don’t hear any…
(Black Mage passes out.)
Red Mage: Oh, he’s dead.
Thief: No, just passed out.
(Red Mage unsheathes his sword.)
Red Mage: I am never wrong. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: I see you guys have been recruiting nine…