Oh Ellen, the old west was dirty. Everything isn’t like…

Oh Ellen, the old west was dirty. Everything isn’t like home. If everything were like home, there would be no reason for leaving home. Right, Rusty?

Clark Griswold

Other National Lampoon’s Vacation Quotes

Cousin Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn’t you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn’t big enough. - View Quote Details on Cousin Eddie: I got laid off when they closed that…
Ahhh! I’d like to propose a toast, if I may? Here’s to…a very restful vacation. Here’s to…a very relaxing vacation. A renewed love affair. And…a time of joy with our babies. - View Quote Details on Ahhh! I’d like to propose a toast, if I may?…
We watch his program. We buy his toys, we go to his movies, he owes us! Doesn’t he owe us, ha? He owes the Griswalds right? Fucking-A right he owes us! - View Quote Details on We watch his program. We buy his toys, we go…
Arabs, Arabs, are they Arabs? Give them whatever they want. - View Quote Details on Arabs, Arabs, are they Arabs? Give them whatever they want.
Marty Moose: Sorry, folks! We’re closed for two weeks to clean and repair America’s favorite family fun park. Sorry, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh! - View Quote Details on Marty Moose: Sorry, folks! We’re closed for two weeks to…
Audrey Griswold: She breathed on me! A dead person breathed on me! - View Quote Details on Audrey Griswold: She breathed on me! A dead person breathed…
The Girl in the Ferrari: It’s too bad you’re married… I’m in the mood for some fun! - View Quote Details on The Girl in the Ferrari: It’s too bad you’re married…
Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the fun. You know that. - View Quote Details on Why aren’t we flying? Because getting there is half the…
Motorcycle Cop: Ya know, if I wasn’t in uniform, I’d split your skull with the butt of this revolver, faster than you could say “police brutality.” - View Quote Details on Motorcycle Cop: Ya know, if I wasn’t in uniform, I’d…
I’m making out a check for $1000, all you have to do is give me $300 in cash and keep the $700, all for doing nothing more than acting like a total creep. - View Quote Details on I’m making out a check for $1000, all you have…