(on “Super Ultra Fine Print”) I invented it. It’s called…

(on “Super Ultra Fine Print”) I invented it. It’s called “Super Ultra Fine Print”. I own the copyright, you owe me a quarter just for reading it!

Light Warriors, Prince Thief of Elfland

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

(to Thief) Well look at that, another beautiful miracle. If it weren’t for my atheism, I’d be impressed by it. - View Quote Details on (to Thief) Well look at that, another beautiful miracle. If…
Let’s not bicker, gentlemen. Remember, you can’t hug with medieval arms. - View Quote Details on Let’s not bicker, gentlemen. Remember, you can’t hug with medieval…
Death is the natural state of all being. Life is the aberration. It is fleeting, and full of pain. Come, embrace the eternity in nothing! - View Quote Details on Death is the natural state of all being. Life is…
Red Mage: Do as you wish, but know that without my help, you’ll never get out of this encounter… alive.
Black Mage: Still… quite tempted… to kill… Red Mage… - View Quote Details on Red Mage: Do as you wish, but know that without…
Death is but a doorway, time is but a window, I’ll be back. - View Quote Details on Death is but a doorway, time is but a window,…
Whoa! Look out, Captain Obvious! There’s a new… uh… a new stating the overtly apparent… man. Here. Right now. So, be careful! For your status as obvious-talking-guy is in danger over there. Ha! - View Quote Details on Whoa! Look out, Captain Obvious! There’s a new… uh… a…
(to Garland, after he finds a penny) And ye badguy voice be as vicious as the stormy sea, so says me. (Hey, that rhymed, yar.)… - View Quote Details on (to Garland, after he finds a penny) And ye badguy…
Red Mage: Unless one of my intrepid adventuring companions were to hand me a Healing Potion.
Thief: I’m not sure that’s feasible at this point in time. We’ve still got a negative cash flow problem.
Werewolf: Well you’re about to have a negative blood flow problem!
Fighter: They’re good… - View Quote Details on Red Mage: Unless one of my intrepid adventuring companions were…
Fighter: (after Black Mage supposedly stabs him 45 times, making a big, red mess) Wow! Black Mage managed to burst every ketchup packet I was holding for RM’s prematurely aborted Dragon bait plan!
Red Mage: My precious Dragon bait! That stuff’s hard to find unless you go to a restaurant! Jerk.
Black Mage: If I had the strength, I would cry. - View Quote Details on Fighter: (after Black Mage supposedly stabs him 45 times, making…
Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero, we have no shelter, food, supplies of any kind, nor combustible materials that aren’t our flesh. I propose we cut open someone’s gut so the rest of us can sleep nestled within his warm entrails. The obvious choice for this sacrifice is Fighter because he is filled with meats.
Fighter: It’s true!
Red Mage: Wait, I have an idea! I have Ice spells! We’re saved!
Black Mage: Ice spells. Okay, Red Mage just volunteered.
Fighter: Aww… - View Quote Details on Black Mage: Well, it’s about a thousand degrees below zero,…