(On the subject of Hell) In hell, we ate the…

(On the subject of Hell) In hell, we ate the souls of sinners marinated in their own sin. It was bliss.

Light Warriors, Black Mage Evilwizardington

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Black Mage: Wow. Red Mage has a lot of blood…
Red Mage: Their claws are raking through my flesh like a +2/+2 Sword of Wounding! Arrrrrgh!
Black Mage: But not as much blood as he had about five minutes ago, of course. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: Wow. Red Mage has a lot of blood…
Red…
Dun Dun Dunn! - View Quote Details on Dun Dun Dunn!
I like swords. - View Quote Details on I like swords.
Black Mage: What the hell are you doing!
Fighter: I’m taunting them about the incredible power at your disposal.
Black Mage: You idiot! I can only cast that spell once a day. I’ve got nothing left!
Fighter: Well, why didn’t you say something sooner?
Black Mage: God, I hate you. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: What the hell are you doing!
Fighter: I’m taunting…
Well, my dad was king, so now I’m king. But now that I think about it, genetics is not a very good system of determining executive power. Even the most capable and caring and beloved leader–much less my greedy, thieving father–can have an incompetent son so mindbogglingly stupid that he could singlehandedly flush the world’s greatest nation down the sewer before the populace at large has a chance to notice–which is exactly what the Cornerian Press used to say about me before I decreed that it was the civic duty of the press to never, ever question my rule, which I then also decreed to be absolute and perfect. So now even thinking that I’m not a perfect and benevolent ruler is crime. So now I can do crazy stuff like drill for Mana in Endangered Species Forest. Weee! - View Quote Details on Well, my dad was king, so now I’m king. But…
No, Dad. I’m afraid that the curse you’re thinking of has a much more literal and much less metaphorical history attached to it. - View Quote Details on No, Dad. I’m afraid that the curse you’re thinking of…
Fighter: Good ol’ Black Mage, he’s always trying to help people.
White Mage: What are you talking about!
Fighter: Black Mage is always helping people. The problem is, they almost never understand his unique brand of help so they usually end up yelling… or screaming… or burning.
White Mage: Why me? - View Quote Details on Fighter: Good ol’ Black Mage, he’s always trying to help…
My plans are always practical! It’s the laws of physics that get in the way of my success. - View Quote Details on My plans are always practical! It’s the laws of physics…
What’s it like to walk through life without any sense of personal responsibility? To think nothing of expecting an elite cadre of warriors to attend to your every whim and worry no matter its insignificance. Tasks so important that they must delay the work of men responsible for ensuring that the sun will rise again - yet they are tasks that you cannot be bothered with personally as it may interfere with your schedule of rigorous masturbation. - View Quote Details on What’s it like to walk through life without any sense…
Guard #1: [Ms. Elderly Lady] claims that you gave her a pair of shoes made out of a human face.
Black Mage: Oh, no. She, uh, came in with those shoes.
Guard #1: That is how she came into the Guard House. His story checks out.
Guard #2: She was obviously deranged. Thank you for your help, sir. - View Quote Details on Guard #1: [Ms. Elderly Lady] claims that you gave her…