Once… in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew,…

Once… in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.

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W.C. Fields, My Little Chickadee

Other Alcoholic beverages Quotes

There is scarcely a crime before me that is not directly or indirectly caused by strong drink. - View Quote Details on There is scarcely a crime before me that is not…
I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion. - View Quote Details on I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I…
Well I ain’t seen my baby since I don’t know when, I’ve been drinking bourbon whiskey, scotch and gin Gonna get high man I’m gonna get loose, Need me a triple shot of that juice Gonna get drunk don’t you have no fear I want one bourbon, one scotch and one beer One bourbon, one scotch, one beer. - View Quote Details on Well I ain’t seen my baby since I don’t know…
When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my customers serve it on Lakeshore Drive, it’s hospitality. - View Quote Details on When I sell liquor, it’s bootlegging. When my customers serve…
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day. - View Quote Details on I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they…
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. - View Quote Details on You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor…
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - View Quote Details on When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave…
It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any man, that he is disguised in liquor; for, on the contrary, most men are disguised by sobriety. - View Quote Details on It is most absurdly said, in popular language, of any…
If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall in to this vice. The demon of intemperance ever seems to have delighted in sucking the blood of genius and generosity. - View Quote Details on If we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads…
It only takes one drink to get me drunk– I can just never remember if its the eighth or ninth. - View Quote Details on It only takes one drink to get me drunk– I…