Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily…

Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily a +4/+4 Armor of Kick Ass.
Black Mage: Mo’ like a +Stupid/+Dumb Armor of Idiot.

Conversations, Episodes 101-200

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Oh, man, what a smell in that thing. Horrible. Anyway! You guys ordered an Apocalypse, if I’m right. - View Quote Details on Oh, man, what a smell in that thing. Horrible. Anyway!…
Thief: (after Fighter tricks Drizz’L into freeing him) You realize of course this means Fighter is the smartest.
Black Mage: I want to cry, but there aren’t enough tears. - View Quote Details on Thief: (after Fighter tricks Drizz’L into freeing him) You realize…
Whoa! Look out, Captain Obvious! There’s a new… uh… a new stating the overtly apparent… man. Here. Right now. So, be careful! For your status as obvious-talking-guy is in danger over there. Ha! - View Quote Details on Whoa! Look out, Captain Obvious! There’s a new… uh… a…
Black Mage: I see you guys have been recruiting nine other gentlemen into our midst. I wouldn’t mind their dancing or their prancing, but it’s making me very dizzy.
Red Mage: Uh, are you okay?
Black Mage: Oh yes. Peachy, I’d say. Someone should really answer that phone though. The incessant ringing is like some sort of… loud ringing that won’t, you know, go away.
Red Mage: I don’t hear any…
(Black Mage passes out.)
Red Mage: Oh, he’s dead.
Thief: No, just passed out.
(Red Mage unsheathes his sword.)
Red Mage: I am never wrong. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: I see you guys have been recruiting nine…
Oh, Black Mage. You and your paranoid delusions. “These are Dark Warriors.” “White Mage likes me.” “Thief is trying to rob us of our very souls.” - View Quote Details on Oh, Black Mage. You and your paranoid delusions. “These are…
I don’t have proof so much as a wild conjecture and furious paranoia. But that’s what they want me to think. - View Quote Details on I don’t have proof so much as a wild conjecture…
If you see Garland, let him know that I will personally carve the word “agony” over every inch of his flesh with a rusty knife. - View Quote Details on If you see Garland, let him know that I will…
Fighter:
Black Mage: What?
Fighter: I SAID I THINK THERE’S SOMETHING STRANGE ABOUT THESE SAILORS.
Black Mage: Oh, hello there, Mr. Concussion. How are you today?
Thief: WHAT’S HE MUMBLING ABOUT?
Fighter: DUNNO.
Black Mage: Please speak quietly.
Fighter: I THINK HE’S HUNG OVER.
Black Mage: No, my brain is hemorrhaging very important fluids.
Thief: Y’KNOW, WHILE YOU’VE BEEN SITTING HERE, WE’VE BEEN HARD AT WORK FIGURING OUT THESE SAILORS.
Black Mage: They’re not sailors, they’re Dark Warriors.
Fighter: WE THINK THEY MIGHT BE PIRATES.
Black Mage: Hate you. - View Quote Details on Fighter:
Black Mage: What?
Fighter: I SAID I THINK THERE’S SOMETHING STRANGE…
If we disguise ourselves as dragon-food, we could take [the dragon] by surprise. - View Quote Details on If we disguise ourselves as dragon-food, we could take [the…
By simply altering my other stats, I can channel their points into my intelligence score, thus making me phenomenally smart! - View Quote Details on By simply altering my other stats, I can channel their…