Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about…

Schwartz: Hey, smart ass. I asked my old man about sticking your tongue to a flagpole in the winter, and he says that it’ll freeze right to the pole, just like I told ya.

Others

Other A Christmas Story Quotes

Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beetloaf. I hate meatloaf. - View Quote Details on Randy: Meatloaf, smeatloaf, double beetloaf. I hate meatloaf.
That son of a bitch would freeze up in the middle of summer on the equator! - View Quote Details on That son of a bitch would freeze up in the…
Let’s face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments before zero hour, it did not pay to take chances. - View Quote Details on Let’s face it, most of us are scoffers. But moments…
[After Mother breaks the Old Man's Major Award, and he is unsuccessful at repairing it] With as much dignity as he could muster, the Old Man gathered up the sad remains of his shattered Major Award. Later that night, alone in the backyard, he buried it next to the garage. Now I could never be sure, but I thought that I heard the sound of “Taps” being played. Gently. - View Quote Details on [After Mother breaks the Old Man's Major Award, and he...
(After the Bumpus hounds steal the Parkers' turkey) All right, everybody upstairs, get dressed. We are going out to eat. - View Quote Details on (After the Bumpus hounds steal the Parkers' turkey) All right,...
Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice against Red Ryder and his Peacemaker?!?! - View Quote Details on Was there no end to this conspiracy of irrational prejudice...
I left Flick to certain annihilation. But BB Gun mania knows no loyalty. - View Quote Details on I left Flick to certain annihilation. But BB Gun mania...
Aha aha, it's a clinkerrrrrrr!!! That blasted, stupid furnace. Dadgummit! [Goes down stairs; falling sound is heard] Damn skates! [Coughs] Open up that damper, will you?! Who the hell turned it all the way down?! AGAIN?!!! - View Quote Details on Aha aha, it’s a clinkerrrrrrr!!! That blasted, stupid furnace. Dadgummit!…
Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an Oldsmobile man! - View Quote Details on Some men are Baptists, others Catholics; my father was an…
NADDAFINGA!! (Not a finger!!) - View Quote Details on NADDAFINGA!! (Not a finger!!)