…So you see, by allowing me to kill you three,…

…So you see, by allowing me to kill you three, I’ll be able to at least die with some dignity… and a smile.

Light Warriors, Black Mage Evilwizardington

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Red Mage: Trust me guys. This one is going down in the history books!
(3,000 years later)
Computer Teacher: Earth-children. Open your “History of the Most Fatally Horrible Plans and Other Painful Events” compu-books to the section on the carbon-unit “Red Mage”. End of line.
Mega Man: But there’s three full chapters devoted to this ‘Red Mage’.
Computer Teacher: Yes. Yes there are. This material will be on the digi-test.
Mega Man: Man, I hate the future! And it’s all Red Mage’s fault! - View Quote Details on Red Mage: Trust me guys. This one is going down…
(in written a note) To whomsoever may miss that family of campers: At least they will always live in your memory. P.S. But since everyone knows that’s not really living, it may be more accurate to say they are very, and forever, dead. - View Quote Details on (in written a note) To whomsoever may miss that family…
Fighter: Maybe we should level up a little before seeing the king so he knows we’re serious about this Light Warrior thing.
Red Mage: (Thinking) Level up to gain power or meet with the king to gain status and lord over newbies and impress girls… GHKKK!
*THUD*
Black Mage: Did he just faint?
Fighter: I thought I heard him say “Munchkin overload.”
Thief: I bet he probably fainted from exertion, what with carrying around these items that are heavy with um… value. I should liberate them. Er, for his own good of course. - View Quote Details on Fighter: Maybe we should level up a little before seeing…
Thief: I’ll have you know “Drizz’L” roughly translates to “The Relentless Scourge”.
Black Mage: Yeah, like the relentless scourge of having a really stupid name. - View Quote Details on Thief: I’ll have you know “Drizz’L” roughly translates to “The…
Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily a +4/+4 Armor of Kick Ass.
Black Mage: Mo’ like a +Stupid/+Dumb Armor of Idiot. - View Quote Details on Red Mage: (wearing Garland’s armor) I’d say this is easily…
Thief: (after Black Mage stabs Fighter) I want to be surprised by that, but I can’t be.
Black Mage: It’s what he would have wanted… if he was me. - View Quote Details on Thief: (after Black Mage stabs Fighter) I want to be…
Did you know that neither Mr Pibb nor Dr Pepper use the little dot thingie for their abbreviations? - View Quote Details on Did you know that neither Mr Pibb nor Dr Pepper…
(A Tyrannosaur appears)
Red Mage: A Tyrannosaur, eh? As it just so happens, I was born to hunt dinosaurs. See? I’ve got the tattoo and everything.
Tyrannosaur: Oh come on, that doesn’t make any sense. How can dinosaur hunting be your primary purpose? We’re extinct.
Red Mage: Then explain yourself.
(Tyrannosaur explodes)
Red Mage: Exactly. - View Quote Details on (A Tyrannosaur appears)
Red Mage: A Tyrannosaur, eh? As it just…
Fighter: (after Black Mage supposedly stabs him 45 times, making a big, red mess) Wow! Black Mage managed to burst every ketchup packet I was holding for RM’s prematurely aborted Dragon bait plan!
Red Mage: My precious Dragon bait! That stuff’s hard to find unless you go to a restaurant! Jerk.
Black Mage: If I had the strength, I would cry. - View Quote Details on Fighter: (after Black Mage supposedly stabs him 45 times, making…
Black Mage: What the hell are you doing!
Fighter: I’m taunting them about the incredible power at your disposal.
Black Mage: You idiot! I can only cast that spell once a day. I’ve got nothing left!
Fighter: Well, why didn’t you say something sooner?
Black Mage: God, I hate you. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: What the hell are you doing!
Fighter: I’m taunting…