Streets flooded. Please advise. (telegram to his editor upon arrival…

Streets flooded. Please advise. (telegram to his editor upon arrival in Venice )

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Other Robert Benchley Quotes

A baby is shown sitting on the floor. He appears to be about a year and a half old. Incidentally, he is a very plain baby. Strewn about him on the floor are the toys that he has been playing with. There are a ball, a rattle, a ring, a doll, a bell and a pair of roller-skates. Evidently, the candidate is supposed to be aghast at the roller-skates in the possession of such a small child.
The man who drew that picture had evidently never furnished playthings for a small child. I can imagine nothing that would delight a child of a year and a half more than a pair of roller-skates to chew and spin and hit himself in the face with. They could also be dropped on Daddy when Daddy was lying on the floor in an attempt to be sociable. Of all the toys arranged before the child, the roller-skates are the most logical…. That is my great trouble in taking tests and examinations of any kind. I always want to argue with the examiner, because the examiner is always so obviously wrong. - View Quote Details on A baby is shown sitting on the floor. He appears…
Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I said nothing. - View Quote Details on Drawing on my fine command of the English language, I…
I don’t want to be an alarmist, but I think that the Younger Generation is up to something…. I base my apprehension on nothing more definite than the fact that they are always coming in and going out of the house, without any apparent reason. - View Quote Details on I don’t want to be an alarmist, but I think…
A great many people have come up to me and asked how I manage to get so much work done and still keep looking so dissipated. - View Quote Details on A great many people have come up to me and…
Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and into a dry martini? - View Quote Details on Why don’t you get out of that wet coat and…
It took me fifteen years to discover that I had no talent for writing, but I couldn’t give it up because by that time I was too famous. - View Quote Details on It took me fifteen years to discover that I had…
The English language may hold a more disagreeable combination of words than “The doctor will see you now.” I am willing to concede something to the phrase “Have you anything to say before the current is turned on?” That may be worse for the moment, but it doesn’t last so long. For continued, unmitigating depression, I know nothing to equal “The doctor will see you now.” But I’m not narrow-minded about it. I’m willing to consider other possibilities. - View Quote Details on The English language may hold a more disagreeable combination of…
Anyone will be glad to admit that he knows nothing about beagling, or the Chinese stock market, or ballistics, but there is not a man or woman alive who does not claim to know how to cure hiccoughs. - View Quote Details on Anyone will be glad to admit that he knows nothing…
The surest way to make a monkey of a man is to quote him. That remark in itself wouldn’t make any sense if quoted as it stands. - View Quote Details on The surest way to make a monkey of a man…
Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author’s soul. If that upheaval is not present then it must come from the works of any other author which happens to be handy and easily adapted. - View Quote Details on Great literature must spring from an upheaval in the author’s…