Suppose the neutral angels were able to talk to Yahweh…

Suppose the neutral angels were able to talk to Yahweh and Lucifer- God and Satan, to use their popular titles- into settling out of court. What would be the terms of the compromise? Specifically, how would they divide the assets of their earthly kingdom? Would God be satisfied to take loaves and fishes and itty-bitty thimbles of Communion wine, while allowing Satan to have the redeye Gravy, eighteen ounce New York steak, and buckets of chilled champagne? Would God really accept twice-a-month lovemaking for procreative purposes and give Satan the all-night, no-holds-barred, nasty “can’t-get-enough-of-you” hot-as-hell fucks?

Sourced, Fierce Invalids Home from Hot Climates
(2000)

Other Tom Robbins Quotes

When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete us. When, after a few years or a few months of a relationship, we find that we’re still unfulfilled, we blame our partners and take up with somebody more promising. This can go on and on- series polygamy- until we admit that while a partner can add sweet dimension to our lives, we, each of us, are responsible for our own fulfillment. Nobody else can provide it for us, and to believe otherwise is to delude ourselves dangerously and to program for eventual failure every relationship we enter. - View Quote Details on When we’re incomplete, we’re always searching for somebody to complete…
She tried out the chamber pot, although she really had nothing to contribute. - View Quote Details on She tried out the chamber pot, although she really had…
I sense that novel of my dreams is in the Remington SL3 - although it writes much faster than I can spell. - View Quote Details on I sense that novel of my dreams is in the…
Of the seven deadly sins, lust is definitely the pick of the litter. - View Quote Details on Of the seven deadly sins, lust is definitely the pick…
People of zee wurl, Relax! - View Quote Details on People of zee wurl, Relax!
Who knows how to make love stay? Tell love you are going to the Junior’s Deli on Flatbush Avenue in Brooklyn to pick up a cheesecake, and if love stays, it can have half. It will stay. Tell love you want a momento of it and obtain a lock of its hair. Burn the hair in a dime-store incense burner with yin/yang symbols on three sides. Face southwest. Talk fast over the burning hair in a convincingly exotic language. Remove the ashes of the burnt hair and use them to paint a mustache on your face. Find love. Tell it you are someone new. It will stay. Wake love up in the middle of the night. Tell it the world is on fire. Dash to the bedroom window and pee out of it. Casually return to bed and assure love that everything is going to be all right. Fall asleep. Love will be there in the morning. - View Quote Details on Who knows how to make love stay? Tell love you…
Sometimes those things that attract the most attention to us are the things that afford us the greatest privacy. - View Quote Details on Sometimes those things that attract the most attention to us…
The Devil doesn’t make us do anything. The Devil, for example, doesn’t make us mean. Rather, when we’re mean, we make the Devil. Literally. Our actions create him. Conversely, when we behave with compassion, generosity, and grace, we create God in the world. - View Quote Details on The Devil doesn’t make us do anything. The Devil, for…
There’s no such thing as security in this life, sweetheart; and the sooner you accept that fact, the better off you’ll be. The person who strives for security will never be free. The person who believes that she’s found security will never reach paradise. What she mistakes for security is purgatory. You know what purgatory is, Gwendolyn? It’s the waiting room, it’s the lobby. Not only does she have the wrong libretto, she’s stuck in the lobby where she can’t see the show. - View Quote Details on There’s no such thing as security in this life, sweetheart;…
Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it has been sober, responsible and cautious, but because it has been playful, rebellious, and immature. - View Quote Details on Humanity has advanced, when it has advanced, not because it…