The first ten million years were the worst,” said Marvin,…

The first ten million years were the worst,” said Marvin, “and the second ten million years, they were the worst too. The third ten million years I didn’t enjoy at all. After that I went into a bit of a decline.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Chapter 18

Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

[The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy] looked insanely complicated, and this was one of the reasons why the snug plastic cover it fitted into had the words DON’T PANIC printed on it in large friendly letters. - View Quote Details on [The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy] looked insanely complicated,…
The sign said:
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.
‘It seemed to me,’ said Wonko the Sane, ‘that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.’ - c. 31; Wonko the Sane telling Arthur and Fenchurch about the Asylum - View Quote Details on The sign said:
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten…
The history of every major galactic civilization has passed through three distinct and recognisable phases: those of survival, inquiry, and sophistication. Otherwise known as the ‘How’, ‘Why’, and ‘Where’ phases. For instance, the first phase is characterised by the question: “How can we eat?” The second by the question: “Why do we eat?” And the third by the question: “Where should we have lunch?” The history of warfare is similarly subdivided though here the phases are retribution, anticipation, and diplomacy. Thus, retribution: “I’m going to kill you because you killed my brother.” Anticipation: “I’m going to kill you because I killed your brother.” And diplomacy: “I’m going to kill my brother and then kill you on the pretext that your brother did it.” Meanwhile, the Earthman Arthur Dent, to whom all this can be of only academic interest, as his only brother was long ago nibbled to death by an okapi, is about to be plunged into a real intergalactic war. (Fit the Sixth.) - View Quote Details on The history of every major galactic civilization has passed through…
Ford: “It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”
Arthur: “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”
Ford: “You ask a glass of water.” - View Quote Details on Arthur: "What's so unpleasant...">Ford: “It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”
Arthur: “What’s so unpleasant…
Beeblebrox, over here!” he shouted.
“No,” called Zaphod, “Beeblebrox over here! Who are you?”
“A friend!” shouted back the man. He ran towards Zaphod.
“Oh yeah?” said Zaphod. “Anyone’s friend in particular, or just generally well disposed to people? - View Quote Details on "No," called Zaphod, "Beeblebrox over here!...">Beeblebrox, over here!” he shouted.
“No,” called Zaphod, “Beeblebrox over here!…
“What a depressingly stupid machine,” said Marvin and trudged away. - View Quote Details on “What a depressingly stupid machine,” said Marvin and trudged away.
A tremendous feeling of peace came over him. He knew that at last, for once and forever, it was now all, finally, over.- c. 25 - View Quote Details on A tremendous feeling of peace came over him. He knew…
“Ford,” he said, “you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it.” –Arthur - View Quote Details on “Ford,” he said, “you’re turning into a penguin. Stop it.”…
“Perhaps I’m old and tired,” he continued, “but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.” —Slartibartfast - View Quote Details on “Perhaps I’m old and tired,” he continued, “but I always…
You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when I’m trapped in a Vogon airlock with a man from Betelgeuse, and about to die of asphyxiation in deep space that I really wish I’d listened to what my mother told me when I was young.”
“Why, what did she tell you?”
“I don’t know, I didn’t listen. - View Quote Details on You know,” said Arthur, “it’s at times like this, when…