The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, Chapter 6

Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

Marvin: “And then of course I’ve got this terrible pain in all the diodes down my left side.”
Arthur: “Is that so?”
Marvin: “Oh yes. I mean I’ve asked for them to be replaced, but no one ever listens.”
Arthur: “I can imagine” - The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Fit The Second - View Quote Details on Marvin: “And then of course I’ve got this terrible pain…
He had an odd feeling of being like a man in the act of adultery who is surprised when the woman’s husband wanders into the room, changes his trousers, passes a few idle remarks about the weather and leaves again. - View Quote Details on He had an odd feeling of being like a man…
It said: ‘The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends to pass through three distinct and recognizable phases, those of Survival, Inquiry and Sophistication, otherwise known as the How, Why and Where phases.
“For instance, the first phase is characterized by the question How can we eat? the second by the question Why do we eat? and the third by the question Where shall we have lunch?” - View Quote Details on It said: ‘The History of every major Galactic Civilization tends…
“[...] one’s never alone with a rubber duck.” —Captain of the Golgafrinchans - View Quote Details on “[...] one’s never alone with a rubber duck.” —Captain of…
“Where God Went Wrong”, “Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes”, “Who is this God Person Anyway?”, and “Well That About Wraps It Up for God”. - The four books on God by ‘Oolon Colluphid’ - View Quote Details on “Where God Went Wrong”, “Some More of God’s Greatest Mistakes”,…
The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for there are many, a sizable number of which are continually clogging up the civil, commercial, and criminal courts in all areas of the Galaxy, and especially, where possible, the more corrupt ones, this. The previous sentence makes sense. That is not the problem. This is: Change. Read it through again and you’ll get it. - View Quote Details on The problem is, or rather one of the problems, for…
“Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went and plugged myself in to its external computer feed. I talked to the computer at great length and explained my view of the Universe to it,” said Marvin.
“And what happened?” pressed Ford.
“It committed suicide,” said Marvin [...]. - View Quote Details on “Simple. I got very bored and depressed, so I went…
Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth and had made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger; but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for tidbits, so they eventually gave up and left the Earth by their own means shortly before the Vogons arrived. - View Quote Details on Curiously enough, the dolphins had long known of the impending…
He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea. - View Quote Details on He had found a Nutri-Matic machine which had provided him…
“Perhaps I’m old and tired,” he continued, “but I always think that the chances of finding out what really is going on are so absurdly remote that the only thing to do is to say hang the sense of it and just keep yourself occupied.” —Slartibartfast - View Quote Details on “Perhaps I’m old and tired,” he continued, “but I always…