The history of every major galactic civilization has passed through…

The history of every major galactic civilization has passed through three distinct and recognisable phases: those of survival, inquiry, and sophistication. Otherwise known as the ‘How’, ‘Why’, and ‘Where’ phases. For instance, the first phase is characterised by the question: “How can we eat?” The second by the question: “Why do we eat?” And the third by the question: “Where should we have lunch?” The history of warfare is similarly subdivided though here the phases are retribution, anticipation, and diplomacy. Thus, retribution: “I’m going to kill you because you killed my brother.” Anticipation: “I’m going to kill you because I killed your brother.” And diplomacy: “I’m going to kill my brother and then kill you on the pretext that your brother did it.” Meanwhile, the Earthman Arthur Dent, to whom all this can be of only academic interest, as his only brother was long ago nibbled to death by an okapi, is about to be plunged into a real intergalactic war. (Fit the Sixth.)

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Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards-somersault through a hoop whilst whistling the ‘Star Spangled Banner’, but in fact the message was this: So long and thanks for all the fish. - View Quote Details on The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly…
He had an odd feeling of being like a man in the act of adultery who is surprised when the woman’s husband wanders into the room, changes his trousers, passes a few idle remarks about the weather and leaves again. - View Quote Details on He had an odd feeling of being like a man…
Sorry, did I say something wrong?” said Marvin, dragging himself on regardless. “Pardon me for breathing, which I never do anyway so I don’t know why I bother to say it, oh God I’m so depressed. Here’s another one of those self-satisfied doors. Life! Don’t talk to me about life. - View Quote Details on Sorry, did I say something wrong?” said Marvin, dragging himself…
“What do you mean, why’s it got to be built?” he said. “It’s a bypass. You’ve got to build bypasses.” –Mr Prosser - View Quote Details on “What do you mean, why’s it got to be built?”…
Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur: “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
Mr Prosser: “That’s the display department.”
Arthur: “With a torch.”
Mr Prosser: “Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”
Arthur: “So had the stairs.”
Mr Prosser: “But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”
Arthur: “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.” - View Quote Details on Arthur:...">Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur:…
Africa was very interesting,” said Ford, “I behaved very oddly there.” [...] “I took up being cruel to animals,” he said airily. “But only,” he added, “as a hobby.”
“Oh yes,” said Arthur, warily.
“Yes,” Ford assured him. “I won’t disturb you with the details because they would—”
“What?”
“Disturb you. But you may be interested to know that I am singlehandedly responsible for the evolved shape of the animal you came to know in later centuries as a giraffe. - View Quote Details on Africa was very interesting,” said Ford, “I behaved very oddly…
And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one man had been nailed to a tree for saying how great it would be to be nice to people for a change [...]. - View Quote Details on And then, one Thursday, nearly two thousand years after one…
“How can I tell,” said the man, “that the past isn’t a fiction designed to account for the discrepancy between my immediate physical sensations and my state of mind?” —The Ruler of the Universe - View Quote Details on “How can I tell,” said the man, “that the past…
The sign said:
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten pointed end in mouth. Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum. Use gentle in-out motion.
‘It seemed to me,’ said Wonko the Sane, ‘that any civilization that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a packet of toothpicks, was no longer a civilization in which I could live and stay sane.’ - c. 31; Wonko the Sane telling Arthur and Fenchurch about the Asylum - View Quote Details on The sign said:
Hold stick near centre of its length. Moisten…
The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels. - View Quote Details on The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy has a few…