There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile…

There are three rules when dealing with a deadly crocodile. Rule number one, I’m number one. Rule number two, the croc’s number two.

Joe Dirt

[while on air balloon] I can see down your shirt! - View Quote Details on [while on air balloon] I can see down your shirt!
You wanna fight? Why don’t you stick your head up my butt and fight for air? - View Quote Details on You wanna fight? Why don’t you stick your head up…
Where’s my supplies? - View Quote Details on Where’s my supplies?
Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt! - View Quote Details on Things are gonna happen for me, I’m Joe Dirt!
What’s the story here? I’m a white trash idiot - The end. - View Quote Details on What’s the story here? I’m a white trash idiot -…
Why don’t you go practice, fallin’ down, I’ll be there in a minute. - View Quote Details on Why don’t you go practice, fallin’ down, I’ll be there…
[Trying to scrape Charlie the dog's testicles off the frozen porch] Now, this ain’t no flapjack, so I’m gonna be real careful, I won’t look. - View Quote Details on [Trying to scrape Charlie the dog's testicles off the frozen...
His name’s Rocky and he ain’t no puppy. - View Quote Details on His name’s Rocky and he ain’t no puppy.
Life’s a garden, dig it! - View Quote Details on Life’s a garden, dig it!
Right on! You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt. - View Quote Details on Right on! You’re Joe Meteorite and I’m Joe Dirt.