They obstinately persisted in their absence.

Life, the Universe and Everything, Chapter 18

Other The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy Quotes

Concentrate,” hissed Zaphod, “on his name.”
“What is it?” asked Arthur.
“Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth.”
“What?”
“Zaphod Beeblebrox the Fourth. Concentrate!”
“The Fourth?”
“Yeah. Listen, I’m Zaphod Beeblebrox, my father was Zaphod Beeblebrox the Second, my grandfather Zaphod Beeblebrox the Third…”
“What?”
“There was an accident with a contraceptive and a time machine. Now concentrate! - View Quote Details on "What is it?"...">Concentrate,” hissed Zaphod, “on his name.”
“What is it?”…
Life, as many people have spotted, is, of course, terribly unfair. For instance, the first time the Heart of Gold ever crossed the galaxy the massive improbability field it generated caused two-hundred-and-thirty-nine thousand lightly-fried eggs to materialise in a large, wobbly heap on the famine-struck land of Poghril in the Pansel system. The whole Poghril tribe had just died out from famine, except for one man who died of cholesterol-poisoning some weeks later. The Poghrils, always a pessimistic race, had a little riddle, the asking of which used to give them the only tiny twinges of pleasure they ever experienced. One Poghril would ask another Poghril, “Why is life like hanging upside down with your head in a bucket of hyena offal?” To which the second Poghril would reply “I don’t know, why is life like hanging upside down with your head in a bucket of hyena offal?” To which the first Poghril would reply, “I don’t know either - wretched isn’t it?” (Fit the Ninth) - View Quote Details on Life, as many people have spotted, is, of course, terribly…
That young girl,” Marvin added unexpectedly, “is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting. - View Quote Details on That young girl,” Marvin added unexpectedly, “is one of the…
Look,” said Zaphod, “I’m up to here with cool, OK? I am so amazingly cool you could keep a side of meat in me for a month. I am so hip I have difficulty seeing over my pelvis. - View Quote Details on Look,” said Zaphod, “I’m up to here with cool, OK?…
Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you can’t like it. - View Quote Details on Life,” said Marvin dolefully, “loathe it or ignore it, you…
Will everything tie up neatly or will it be just like life: quite interesting in parts, but no substitute for the real thing? (Fit the Eleventh) - View Quote Details on Will everything tie up neatly or will it be just…
“Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?”
“How much?” said Arthur.
“None at all,” said Mr Prosser. - View Quote Details on “Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how…
One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest to understand about humans was their habit of continually stating and repeating the very obvious, as in It’s a nice day, or You’re very tall, or Oh dear you seem to have fallen down a thirty-foot well, are you all right? At first Ford had formed a theory to account for this strange behavior. If human beings don’t keep exercising their lips, he thought, their mouths probably seize up. After a few months’ consideration and observation he abandoned this theory in favor of a new one. If they don’t keep on exercising their lips, he thought, their brains start working. After a while he abandoned this one as well as being obstructively cynical. - View Quote Details on One of the things Ford Prefect had always found hardest…
Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur: “On display? I eventually had to go down to the cellar to find them.”
Mr Prosser: “That’s the display department.”
Arthur: “With a torch.”
Mr Prosser: “Ah, well the lights had probably gone.”
Arthur: “So had the stairs.”
Mr Prosser: “But look, you found the notice didn’t you?”
Arthur: “Yes,” said Arthur, “yes I did. It was on display in the bottom of a locked filing cabinet stuck in a disused lavatory with a sign on the door saying Beware of the Leopard.” - View Quote Details on Arthur:...">Mr Prosser: “But the plans were on display…”
Arthur:…
“Listen, three eyes,” he said, “don’t you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal.” —Zaphod - View Quote Details on “Listen, three eyes,” he said, “don’t you try to outweird…