Thief: Let me ask you a tangential philosophical question. Black Mage:…

Thief: Let me ask you a tangential philosophical question.
Black Mage: Shoot.
Thief: If a contract is torn up and several fraudulent copies have been produced in the meantime, does the Black Mage cry?
Black Mage: He does.

Conversations, Episodes 301-400

Other 8-Bit Theater Quotes

Black Mage: What we really need is some sort of quest to keep us together.
Red Mage: I thought you hated us and would relish the opportunity to rid us from your life.
Black Mage: Oh, sure, that was the old Black Mage. The new back from Hell with infinite power, oh wait, just kidding, you’re mortal again Black Mage won’t rest until you’ve each suffered in ways they have not yet had need to invent words to describe. - View Quote Details on Black Mage: What we really need is some sort of…
Okay, we can make this work in our favor. Remember, genius! - View Quote Details on Okay, we can make this work in our favor. Remember,…
Red Mage: (seeing Fighter panicking about spiders) Is there an off button for that thing?
Black Mage: Oh, he passes out after a while.
Thief: You know, my Backstab attack does double damage. I could make an off button for him.
Black Mage: Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to learn more. - View Quote Details on Red Mage: (seeing Fighter panicking about spiders) Is there an…
I love you phallic-sword worshipping warrior woman. Take me. - View Quote Details on I love you phallic-sword worshipping warrior woman. Take me.
Guard: The king is looking for the Light Warriors. You do not happen to be them, do you?
Fighter: I… do not… do… happen to… swords? - View Quote Details on Guard: The king is looking for the Light Warriors. You…
Thief: This is easy. I know it is. I’ve stolen things that weren’t even there. This soul exists, so that helps. I just have to remember my training. The art of theft is truly the art of distraction. It’s almost too easy to take someone’s Gil when they’re not looking. Observing an event helps to make it happen. Someone should develop a theory based on that. So without any witnesses who’s to say what happens? RM, you need to close your eyes. This is a moment of truth.
Red Mage: Why is it your brand of truth invariably involves obfuscation and lies?
Thief: Because I’m Thief. - View Quote Details on Thief: This is easy. I know it is. I’ve stolen…
This is the most pathetic battle ever. Let’s never, never, never talk about it again. - View Quote Details on This is the most pathetic battle ever. Let’s never, never,…
Be this six hundred, or pineapple? - View Quote Details on Be this six hundred, or pineapple?
(Regarding her lack of minions) How can this be? I have a host, a legion of foul beasts summoned from the ashes of a thousand evil fires burning from a thousand evil trees stolen from the evil forest of Bunny Town! - View Quote Details on (Regarding her lack of minions) How can this be? I…
Onion Kid: I’m sorry, mister. I didn’t see you there.
Black Mage: DON’T LOOK AT ME!
Onion Kid: ARGH!
White Mage: (Off in the distance) Well, no good can come of that. - View Quote Details on Onion Kid: I’m sorry, mister. I didn’t see you there.
Black…