Values like burning as much gas as you can so…

Values like burning as much gas as you can so you can drive around an oval for hours.

Jon Stewart

On President Bush’s speech on NASCAR’s promotion of values.

Other The Daily Show Quotes

From Beacon Hill to Back Bay, from burning witches to bussing blacks, this city (Boston) has something for everyone…unless you’re black. - View Quote Details on From Beacon Hill to Back Bay, from burning witches to…
Where I say whatever’s on my mind…and a few things that aren’t. - View Quote Details on Where I say whatever’s on my mind…and a few things…
Critics have noted Schwarzenegger’s only previous government experience was serving under President Bush Senior as Chairman of the Council on Physical Fitness, a largely symbolic office, where Schwarzenegger’s only responsibility was doing hundreds of jumping jacks he was going to do anyway. - View Quote Details on Critics have noted Schwarzenegger’s only previous government experience was serving…
Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a Vietnamese POW camp, publicly releases 1,000 pages of medical records. Now people are left with only one nagging question: what kind of freak has 1,000 pages of medical records? - View Quote Details on Senator John McCain, who spent over five years in a…
Remember, the last person Al Gore endorsed was Al Gore. And you remember how well that went. Really, do you remember? I have no idea. - View Quote Details on Remember, the last person Al Gore endorsed was Al Gore…
Yes, with its tolerant society, low crime rate, and free health care, Canada is a hell on earth for conservatives. - View Quote Details on Yes, with its tolerant society, low crime rate, and free…
The Saddam statue was pulled down in Baghdad. Clearly, it was a great moment. Jubilant crowd, very heart-warming to see this. There’s a lot of work to be done yet, but amongst all that joy, I think we all need to pause and remember something. Somewhere in Iraq is a sculptor who worked very hard on that statue. - View Quote Details on The Saddam statue was pulled down in Baghdad. Clearly, it…
Mo Rocca: Mmmm…Jon, I brought something special with me: the original program from Opening Day, Enron Field…look at that, 2000! (blows the “dust” off the program) Hmmm, lots of memories.
Jon Stewart (shaking his head): Uh, Mo, I don’t wanna interrupt the reverie, but uh, the stadium is still there. It’s alive and well, it just won’t be called Enron Field.
Rocca: I know…now it’s called Astros Field…I mean, what’s an Astro? What do they make? They’re not even a corporation, Jon.
Stewart: No, they’re the ballclub that plays in the stadium.
Rocca: No, they’re the ballclub that LEASES that stadium. I mean, don’t you see Jon? It’s the end of the golden age of corporate naming. Our children won’t be able to buy a ticket at BankOne Ballpark in Phoenix…or to tailgate at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego…or to feel the cool breeze coming off the lake at Hyundai Elantra Field in Coca-Cola, Ohio!
(audience laughs)
Stewart: Uh, Mo…I don’t even think that the last one exists.
Rocca: And now it never will. Now if you’ll excuse me, Jon, I’m gonna enjoy one last Enron Field pretzel…(bites into an “E” shaped pretzel) Mmm, you can really taste the ethical violations! - View Quote Details on Mo Rocca: Mmmm…Jon, I brought something special with me: the…
Now, on the subject of the convention, most observers agreed last week brought a newly energized Democratic Party, one focused on a common goal. With the party now in the spotlight, many people are wondering… [a pause, as he is handed a piece of paper] Oh. Terror warning. Guess I’ll have to stop talking about the Democrats. - View Quote Details on Now, on the subject of the convention, most observers agreed…
[On Mel Gibson's cigar challenge of proving that people weren't cells in regards to his opposition to CA Prop 71]
Adam and Eve, Mel…that’s two cigars! - View Quote Details on [On Mel Gibson's cigar challenge of proving that people weren't...